#i'm sorry if i made the girlies sad with this one

[140smashedguitars]

I have a few things to say about Good Omens. I'm not sure if this is going to be coherent but I kinda just need to get these thoughts out of my brain before I explode.

I had actually forgotten what happened at the end of season 1 (I only watched it once and my memory is garbage) so I didn't really get the full effect of Crowley talking to Gabriel about what he said to Crowley as Aziraphale, until I saw these two posts and now I'm going batshit. I'm not quite sure where to start with this, hopefully it will make sense. Also I'm sure other people have talked about this but oh well

So! Gabriel, on instinct, turned up at Aziraphale's bookshop after losing his memory because he just thought he'd be safe there. And the thing is, he was. He shouldn't have been, but to Aziraphale, Gabriel is just his boss, and someone he's known for longer than we could imagine.

Then Crowley walks in and when he sees Gabriel is filled with blind rage. Why is he here? What more could he possibly do to hurt Aziraphale? But Gabriel’s a blank slate, he has no idea of what happened between him and Aziraphale. He doesn’t have to carry that with him. Would it even matter if he did? Gabriel doesn't care about Aziraphale's feelings. And yet, here he is in Aziraphale's special place - their special place, with his own room (which he didnt offer to Crowley who has been living out of his car for ages), his own mug with his name on it for his hot chocolate, wearing Aziraphale's clothes.

And Crowley can’t do anything, he of course still can’t tell Aziraphale what Gabriel said to him, so he just has to stand by and watch as Aziraphale risks everything to help this being he believes doesn’t deserve to be helped. Could you imagine if the situation was reversed? If an amnesiac and vulnerable Aziraphale showed up to Gabriel asking for help. I don’t doubt that he would’ve immediately given up Aziraphale when he realised how big the risk was in helping him. But Aziraphale helps him anyway because it’s the right thing to do.

Then he asks Crowley to help. And why the Hell should he? Gabriel’s done nothing to deserve it, but he does anyway, because he doesn’t want to upset Aziraphale. So Crowley answers Gabriel’s questions to the best of his ability, gets him his hot chocolate, helps with the miracle to hide him, keeps him company. Even though it must be killing him inside. His anger is directed at one specific person and now here’s there, he can’t say all the things he probably wants to say because it wouldn’t mean anything to Gabriel. Sure, Crowley tells him what happened and then later starts to threaten him, but it amounts to nothing. He’s only met with a confused, blank stare. He can't get the closure that he wants.

Then Crowley goes to Heaven to find out what really happened to Gabriel, and wouldn't you know it...

Gabriel

Defied

Heaven

You know... like Crowley and Aziraphale did at the end of season 1 and were attemptedly murdered for. And what was Gabriel's punishment for defying the will of Heaven to start a second apocalypse? Death? Being forced to live and die as a human? (I'm not sure if that's a thing in this universe, but it's a thought) No. He gets demoted. And because the angels are so incompetent, Crowley watches Gabriel just walk out. He just leaves Heaven.

And then, Gabriel gets his memory back, and Crowley is forced to watch as Gabriel

Fucking. Gabriel. Who looked Crowley's only friend dead in the eye and told him to shut his stupid mouth and die

and smiled

takes the hand of the being he loves, singing their love song and leaves. No repercussions for what Gabriel did or said, he and Beelzebub are free to go wherever they please and be happy.

So after all this, Crowley is spurred into going after his own happy ending. Because that's what he and Aziraphale deserve, right? He bares his soul in front of Aziraphale, pleading with him to leave and be together in whatever way that means. Just the two of them.

Because it has always, only ever been the two of them. Literally from the beginning. Everything they've done together has been to defy the will of Heaven and Hell to do the right thing. Watching Crowley struggle to get the words out to explain how he feels and stop himself from crying is fucking soul destroying. He needs Aziraphale to understand what's been going on between them this entire time. What's in front of them, what he's giving up. So he kisses him, in one last ditch effort, pouring everything he is feeling into it. As people have pointed out, the kiss wasn't out of love; it was out of desperation, fear, anger. It was a plea, it was a prayer. It was everything Crowley could never say. And Aziraphale's response?

I forgive you.

FOR WHAT AZIRAPHALE?! FOR WHAT?! And the way Aziraphale looks angry immediately after the kiss. I can't fucking do this guys. What the fuck.

But if that wasn't enough, Crowley still waits for Aziraphale by his car. Because maybe, just maybe, in those last few minutes Aziraphale realised he was wrong. But no. After everything, God having Earth created only to plan to destroy it a mere few thousand years later, all the humans being murdered, tortured, betrayed, for what purpose? Aziraphale chose Heaven over Crowley. The ones who cast out Crowley for asking "damn fool questions" but allowed that courtesy to Job. Who God fucked over for a bet. And there was nothing Crowley could do to stop him. He has to let his best friend, the only being he has ever cared about, loved, his home, be ripped away from him. Fuck.

I don't know if this makes any sense. I don't know if this is just a rambling string of nonsense. But can you see what I'm getting at here? It's like 2am at the time of writing this but I'm hoping my point has somehow come across. I think this had a point. I could be reading way too into all this and being stupid but to me the confession scene goes way deeper than I originally thought. Sorry this is a really long post, and sorry if it feels like I’m just saying what happened in the show but I wanted to recontexualise it from Crowley’s POV.

[mikimeiko]

Nobody Wants This | Season 1 (2024), Erin Foster

[deservedgrace]

"I don't think the ~autumn girlies~ understand how debilitating seasonal depression is 😮‍💨"

Me, an "autumn girlie" with summer seasonal depression: 😐😐😐😐😐

[thinkinonsense]

first sleepover with worst!logan *mdni

the two of you hadn't been together very long before you invited logan to stay over; and to say he was hesitant would be an understatement.

"i'm not sure, princess..." he mumbles, getting up from the couch to leave again.

"c'mon lo..." you purr, stopping him by crawling into his lap. "it's getting late anyways."

this was the latest he had been over; almost three am. you weren't sure why he was so insistent on leaving, during the day he would hang around your apartment for hours but when night falls, he's eager to go. none of it made sense to you but to logan, it was crystal.

to start, he didn't want you to get too attached. logan couldn't have a sweet young girl like yourself get wrapped up in his twisted ways. from the moment first saw you in your silky, tiny nightgown he knew he wouldn't last a whole night alone with you.

"ain't gotta worry about me, sweetheart." he said, tucking a strand of lose hair behind your ear. "i can take care of myself out there."

you look up at him with these sad pouty lips that remind logan of one of the many times he's been shot in his lifetime. he loathed how soft you're making him; smoothing ever sharp edge of him until you've molded him into your perfect mate.

"pretty please, logan." you whine, wrapping both arms around his neck. the begging was only making it worse for him.

"i don't want to have to do this, doll face." he sighed, hands unknowingly traveling to your hips and playing with this silk.

"then stay here with me."

logan didn't think he was this weak. the old him would've just barked in your face and stormed out of the apartment already; but instead he's being dragged into your bedroom. the only part of your apartment that logan has never seen. well, technically he's peeked in once or twice but he's never been inside. everything about the room reminded him of you. soft pastels plastered everywhere and cute little decorations littered about.

what really got him was your bed. baby blue sheets with matching pillows and a decorative heart pillow front and center. if wade saw him sitting in this girly bed, logan would never hear the end of it. but for her? he would lay here until he died.

"whatcha think?" you ask him with a small smile.

"looks just like you; pretty and vibrant." he says, one hand on your jaw to pull you into a quick kiss.

logan stripped himself of his shirt before climbing in next to you. both of you laid on your sides with one of logan's arms wrapped firmly around your abdomen in the quiet bedroom. time passes and logan thinks he's finally got himself under control; falling asleep peacefully for once.

"mmm... lo..." you groan softly from your slumber.

logan wasn't an idiot, he knew what has happening. it wasn't easy but he tried to block you out, ignoring your sweet cries for him which had become manageable until you began squirming against him; your volume increasing little by little.

finally, he had to put an end to this torture. both large hands placed on your waist tightly and almost harshly to stop your movements, ultimately awakening you.

"lo, what are you-"

"can't even behave while sleeping, huh?" his voice was hot against your ear. logan's right hand travels up the nightgown to paw at your chest in a way that made your eyes roll back. his left hand travels south, exposing the thin matching material underneath your nightgown which sends your head flying back against his shoulder. the movement exposes your neck to him, biting and licking as he pleases.

"s-s-sorry for... for w-waking you up-p." you apologize, moving against his lower hand.

"no need to apologize, dollface." logan chuckles darkly at the eagerness and candor in your voice. "this is a much better sleepover than i imagined."

[gguk-n]

The One (Charles Leclerc x Reader)

Summary- In a world where soulmates exist. Each pair has a unique soulmate mark. Charles doesn't know what his mark is or if he'll ever meet his soulmate.

Charles Leclerc and Y/N Y/L/N grew up together. They didn't remember the first time they met, they'd always been a part of each other's lives. They did everything together. They were a package deal, you wouldn't find one without the other. Maybe, that's why they hadn't found their soulmate yet or seen a soulmate mark.

Y/N was in primary, maybe eight or nine when some people in her class had started to bully her. Charles was the only one who noticed that she wasn't herself. "Hey Y/N/N" Charles said trying to catch her attention. "Hi Cha" she replied, faking a smile. "You look sad" he pointed out. "I'm okay" she reassured him. "You can tell me anything" Charles said and she broke down crying. Charles soon found out about the bullying and took it upon himself to protect her. That day he returned home with multiple bruises and when asked, he just told them he was protecting his person.

Y/N was ten when her dad told her stop karting. It was her favourite thing to do since she got to spend all her time with Charlie. She would recount the events of the day to anyone after every race. The debriefs were fun, she mostly talked about Charles, actually she only talked about Charles. Hervé tried to reason with her dad to let her continue since she was inconsolable. "But papa, I love karting." she cried. "That's not very girly. Stick to things girls do" he told her sternly. Y/N spent most of her day crying until Charles came around. "I'm sorry we can't kart together" he said hugging her. "You can use my kart whenever you want" he bargained. Y/N smiled for the first time that day. Charles kept to his word, he would let her use his kart whenever she wanted; to this day, she was the only one allowed to touch his cars, even the Ferraris.

Y/N was with Charles when he won his GP3 and F2 title. She was the first one he met as soon as he got out of the car. She was crying with snot running down her nose. "You look ugly crying" Charles laughed and Y/N hit him. "I'm just happy" she said. "I know" he replied, hugging her for a very long time.

Charles was there when Y/N got rejected from her dream university. She had locked herself up and wouldn't open the door for anyone. Charles was the only one able to coax her out. "Wanna get ice cream?" Charles asked rubbing her back. She nodded. The pain of rejection melted away with the ice cream. That was when Y/N knew, the reason she didn't have a soulmate mark. It was because she had already met her soulmate. Charles was her one and only and she didn't need a a stupid soulmate mark to tell her that.

Y/N was also there when Hervé was sick and in the hospital. "Charlie, don't worry. I'm here. I'll made sure Hervé gets well soon while you go and race" she reassured Charles who was not ready to leave. "I trust you." he told her. "I know" she nodded.

Y/N was there when Hervé passed. Charles was a mess. He wouldn't stop blubbering, tightly wrapped around her as if she would disappear too if he let go, as she patted his back. "He's watching down on us. He's always with us" she said trying to console him.

Y/N was there when Charles got offered the Ferrari contract. She had heard him contemplate his choices when he had joined Formula One and now that Ferrari was offering him a contract, it was a no brainer for him. He was quick to sign the contract with Y/N right behind him, literally and figuratively.

Charles would spend a lot of his time wondering who his soulmate could be. And it saddened him to think that it would be someone who would never have the opportunity to meet his father. Y/N always wondered what her soulmate mark could've been, but alas, at least she had her soulmate even if he didn't know it yet.

It was the Monaco GP, Charles had finally broken his Monaco curse. As the checkered flag waved and Charles crossed the finish line; his heart was heavy yet warm. He couldn't believe he had done it, finally. He got out of the car and raced to his team; his family waiting for him. The first person he saw was Y/N, with tears staining her cheeks. Charles wiped her tears, "I won" he muttered. "I know" she smiled wrapping him in a tight hug. "I'm sure he must be looking down on you right now. He must be so happy. I know it" she whispered into his shoulder. "You always knew what he felt" he replied. "He would tell you how proud he was of you and how he knew you could do it" she elaborated while pulling away. As Charles eyes met hers for the thousandth time since they first met, his heart felt warm, his mind was calm and everything around him felt like it was where it was supposed to be. He was where he was supposed to be. He was with his soulmate. "Go on" she pushed Charles towards his team and smiled as he stumbled forward.

A couple days after the GP, Y/N was lounging around his mother's shop when Charles interrupted her. "Hey" he spoke slowly. "Hi Cha" she smiled. "I wanted to talk to you" he began. "Looks like it" she replied while using her two fingers to ease the worry lines on his forehead, nodding at him to continue. "You know how we've yet to get out mark or our soulmate" he pointed out. "I'm aware" she laughed. "What if, we've already met our soulmate?" he questioned. "hmm" she cocked her head. "What if we met them so young that we don't know, we don't know our mark was or anything" he rambled. "Where are you going with this?" she asked hesitantly. "What if our soulmate has always been around? With us, through it all" Charles suggested. She nodded with tears in her eyes. "What if we are each other's soulmates?" Charles proceeded hesitantly. Y/N jumped into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Took you long enough" she mumbled against his neck. "You knew" he asked, pulling away to look at her.

She nodded with her arms still around his neck, Charles placing his on her waist. "When?" he asked. "The day I got rejected from the university I wanted" she replied. "That long?" he asked. She just nodded. "You were always there, through my highs and lows" she explained. "You were with me through everything too." Charles interrupted. "I'm glad it's you" Y/N announced. "me too" Charles reiterated.

"Our mums will be happy" Charles said, as the pair walked hand in hand. "I think they always knew" Y/N stated. "That's even better. That means dad met my soulmate" Charles smiled. "Can I tell you a secret?" Y/N asked. "What?" Charles asked. "He always hoped we'd be soulmates" she replied. "No wonder you were his favourite" Charles laughed pulling her in for a kiss.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Cold as ice

a/n I honestly hope you all will cry the way I cried writing this because now I genuinely need four to five business days to recover. Because never have I actually needed to take a minute to sob in the middle of writing.

summary: what happens when Ellie stumbles upon a memorial that turns out to have both your and Joel's kids names on it. When the past pain is brought back to the daylight even the coldest of hearts finally break.

warning: pain and suffering first and foremost, tissues ain't included. Blood, wounds, shooting, killing, multiple death, loosing your kids.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ellie had slipped out of the shower. She hated being separated from you and Joel. So the fact that you walked away from her, leaving her with Maria, didn't sit well with her whatsoever. You had hugged her tightly before leaving, promising to be back as soon as possible and that you three would eat dinner together as you always did.

She had gotten extremely close to you. Yet there was something in Joel's eyes when he watched you hug Ellie that told her that there was more than you two let her know. She was aware that you two had been together long before the outbreak; she assumed you were married from the bent ring that was on your finger. But besides that, she knew nothing. Well, that you could handle Joel's shit the best of anyone Ellie had met.

She had seen and heard Joel mumbling in his sleep. Watched you rub his back with a sad expression on your face. And the same went for you, just when your nightmare hit - they hit you hard. Ellie had been woken up by your screams in the middle of the night. Joel's calm voice tries to make you calm down. She had only once turned to look at all of this unfolding; most of the time she just pretended that she was fast asleep. "Don't let them, Joel", you cried, "Don't", "I'm so sorry", Joel would sway you from side to side. His own eyes glossed over with tears. "Should have let me die instead. I should have died," you choked out, clenching the shirt Joel was wearing. His face looked stone cold as you clawed at him, sobbing.

Ellie never brought those nights up. If she teased Joel for speaking in his sleep, she had never said anything about your nightmares out loud. After nights like that, she would shimmy closer to you. Making sure she would be holding onto your hand more often or just hugging you every moment she could. Ellie couldn't help the feeling inside her that told her that you needed her.

Ellie hurried down the stairs, zipping the pink jacket she despised solely because of its outrageously girly color. Maria had left the note that she was just across the street, and as much as Ellie enjoyed being alone. She needed to kill time before you two came back. Plus, being away from you made her rather uneasy. She knocked on the door a couple of times. Yet no one answered. After more failed attempts, Ellie just let herself in. "Maria," she called out, stepping into the hallway. The house looked nice and was well lived in. Ellie had never seen anything like it. Even the smell seemed homely. She stepped into the living room, where the fire was crackling in the fireplace. Her eyes fell onto the three names written down with white chalk, surrounded by candles. Kevin, Sarah, and Malakai. Ellie couldn't help but frown.

"Ah, good, here you are. Try it on," Maria said, making Ellie jump as she turned away from the bored and took the coat from her hands. "Well, it's super fucking purple," "Eggplant, fits well?", Maria questioned, and Ellie nodded her head. "Who's been cutting your hair?", Ellie gave the woman a crooked look. "Am… world-class salons," she sassed back, making Maria let out somewhat of a chuckle. "I'll go get my sizers," Ellie argued immediately, but Maria stood firm, "Just the ends I promised."

The sound itself made Ellie cringe as she held onto the side of the chair for dear life. She hated this. Hated getting her hair cut. "I saw you looking at the memorial Tommy made", Ellie swallowed hard once Maria spoke up once again. She hoped this wouldn't be brought up, but then again, she was snooping. "I'm sorry about your kids," Ellie choked out, thankful that she didn't have to look her in the eye. Maria's movements stopped. "It's okay and kid. Just Kevin. Sarah and Malakai were Joel's and Y/N's kids", and a cold shiver ran down Ellie's back. Kids. You two had kids and lost both of them. "I'm sorry, shouldn't have said anything", "It's okay, it… It explains Joel's behavior and why Y/N…", but her voice died down. Maria didn't need to know about your nightmares.

"Look, I won't ask you what you are doing with them, especially Joel…" "Good," Ellie bit back. "You need to understand my concerns", Maria walked right in front of her, but Ellie only glared her way, "Be concerned about your husband, who did the same shit, if not worse". Maria let out a surprised sigh, "You have one hell of a mouth," and Ellie quickly stood up, shrugging off the towel that was over her shoulders, "And you are one hell of a sister-in-law if all you can do is throw shit at Joel." The adrenaline rushed through Ellie the moment the words slipped past her lips. She didn't regret them, but at the same time, she knew she shouldn't have. It was, however, too late. So she quickly stormed out of the house.

Her breathing picked up as she ran. Quickly slamming the doors behind herself. "Ellie?", your voice rang through the place, and she almost sank to the floor with relief. Like a lost animal, she darted towards the kitchen, meeting you midway as you stepped out into the hallway. Throwing her arms around your torso as she pressed herself closer to you. You couldn't help but frown as your hands ran through her hair. Confused as to what had happened, "Love, you are worrying me. What's going on?" You tried to loosen Ellie's grip on you, but she just clenched your shirt tighter.

Ellie almost felt like she suddenly couldn't face you. She shouldn't have found out like that. So she quickly stepped back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. The worry inside you grew even more as you watched her. "Sweet girl, should I go get Joel?", you asked, but Ellie quickly shook her head, only now realizing that this involved him as much as it involved you. "Okay, well, you know you can tell me anything. I can't help if I don't know what happened," you said, softly reaching for Ellie's hand. Just this didn't feel like anything. This felt like the biggest thing ever.

"I'm sorry," Ellie rasped out, "I wasn't… I didn't want to… but they had a memorial," Ellie cried out, and suddenly it all started to make sense. You moved to wrap her up in your arms once again, "No one is blaming you; you were bound to find out eventually." You ran your hands through Ellie's hair once again. With a sigh, you clenched the necklace that hung over your chest. "You want to know the story of me and Joel?", you asked, making Ellie look up at you with mixed emotions. You nodded your head, "Well, let's make tea and sit down somewhere more comfortable." You knew that this was going to be one painful set of memories to unlock. But she deserved it. She was part of the family now.

And what a journey it had been. You met Joel in a supermarket. Where he was frantically looking for baby formula. The baby he was supporting with one hand screamed bloody murder. "Hello," you said cautiously, not wanting to startle him any further. His helpless, tired eyes snapped your way. You could tell that he most definitely hadn't slept in more than a couple of days. If not his eyes telling you that, then his overgrown and unkempt beard did. This male was a mess. "Do you mind if I", you pointed to the bundled-up baby, "You're in distress, and they feel it. Babies are sensitive to emotions", Joel's shoulders sagged; it looked like your words had finally defeated him.

"Just stand here. If you even think about doing something to hurt her…," you looked at him with a knowing smile. Trusting your blood and soul with a stranger was no joke. Especially being a newly baked parent. Plus, fathers were already way more protective. Especially of their girls. You pressed your hand to the heart, "I'll stand right here, just want to help". Joel nodded his head. Dropping down the box of formula he was holding as he moved towards you, lowering the bundle into your hands.

Even with her face all red and screaming her little lungs out, she was so pretty. You gently rocked her in your arms, "It's okay, gorgeous girl. Why are you crying, love bug?", you cooed at her. Fingers carefully ran down her cheek as you wiped away her big tears. "Shhh, sweet girl, you've got your daddy all worried. We don't want that, do we?" The cries slowly died down, and her big, still-damp eyes stared right at you.

Joel felt like someone had sent this as a cruel joke. His wife, the mother of his child, should be doing this, not some stranger in the middle of the supermarket. "Grab the mixture on the second shelf, more to your right", your voice made Joel snap his head in your direction once again. "I assumed you were looking for a formula. So that one should do her good. Won't upset her stomach if she's also breastfed", Joel clenched his jaw at your words. No, Sarah was not. Her mother had vanished. She didn't even know what a mother was or what it would feel like to have one.

You sensed the tension. Slowly stepping closer to the male, one hand resting on his shoulder. "Don't take this as an insult because I'm sure you are an amazing father. But do you want me to pop by and help out while you rest a little?" You had an odd feeling that the mother wasn't in the picture. That he was all alone. And the baby wasn't older than a month or a bit more. If this man was juggling that alone. Well, that must have been hard.

You hummed to yourself as you fixed up a light dinner from whatever you managed to find in Joel's fridge. Considering the empty cardboard boxes all over the place, it's been a hot minute since he had a proper meal himself. Once he drove you back to his, you quickly ushered him upstairs. Telling him to take a bath and catch some sleep. You knew that he would have fought you on it. If only he wasn't running on the last bits of energy. And you weren't snooping, but while you were cleaning up the kitchen, you found an open letter. A letter you assumed was from Joel's wife. She had left them two without anything, not even a proper explanation. You knew it wasn't your place to judge; motherhood was tough. Not all women were built to be mothers. You had written down instructions for Joel. How do fix a bottle. What different formulas do get, and how to switch them up if Sarah got an upset stomach per se. You wanted him to know that he wasn't alone. Even if you two had known each other for less than a day.

Joel stepped down the stairs hours later. Beard trimmed, eyes less puffy. He found you on the sofa reading a book to Sarah. One of her tiny fists was wrapped around your finger as your soft voice filled the room, "Why are you smiling? Am I that funny?", you cooed at her, making Sarah let out a happy grumble, "Ah, we even lost the pacifier with all the smiling, huh," you pinched her cheek carefully.

Joel was lost for words, to say the least. This was how he saw his family. This was what he hoped he would come down to with his wife. A sob that had held up for weeks, now finally escaped his lips, making you turn his way in an instant. You carefully set Sarah down before approaching him. Opening up your arms in case he needed a hug but keeping a distance in case this was overstepping his boundaries. Yet Joel did fall into your arms. He mumbled out all of his worries and questions that had been bothering him. He had no clue what he was doing. How nothing made sense to him now.

That night, and the many that followed, completely transformed you two. You had practically moved into the Millers' house. You lived not that far away, but the apartment was small, and since the job, you had only managed to cover the rent costs; you were barely getting by as it was. Joel needed someone to look after Sarah while he worked, so having you in the house solved that issue for him. But with each passing week and more, you three fell into somewhat of a routine, and you couldn't help but notice how right this all felt. You always wanted to be a young mom anyway. Sure, the baby wasn't yours, but that meant nothing to you. You cherished Sarah as if she was your blood and flesh. Joel loved that Sarah would grow up having you in her life. A true mother figure and did not doubt that as soon as his daughter learned how to talk, she would without a doubt refer to you as a mother.

Now, almost 12 years later, you still found yourself smiling every time you thought back at the time you and Joel came together, clawing through the struggles as one. "Morning", Sarah ran down the stairs, quickly coming to kiss your cheek as she moved to grab plates for everyone. "Morning, darling, is your father awake?", "Banged on the door loudly, but he's getting old wouldn't be surprised if he didn't hear", you let out a chuckle at her words. She often teased Joel about getting old. Especially now that his first gray hair had sprouted.

"Is Momo up?", Sarah asked, missing the sight of her brother in the kitchen. You turned to the living room, "Tommy is watching cartoons with him." Malakai was a surprise baby, to say the least. You and Joel weren't trying to get pregnant, but at the same time, you weren't always all that safe when it came to sex. When you feel pregnant, you generally couldn't help but have the fear of Joel walking out on you. Yes, you two had gotten engaged not that long ago, but the conversation of having kids together was never a thing.

Yet Joel didn't do anything but cry once you told him. He wrapped you up in his arms as you two swayed in the kitchen at two in the morning, where you had waited for him to return from his shift. "Tell me again; I still can't believe it," he muttered into your ear for what felt like a thousand times, "I am pregnant with your baby." Joel shook his head still, "Baby Miller..", he let out a breathy laugh. Hands coming to hold his head. With you? A baby with you? The most amazing woman on this earth. He surely didn't deserve it, but he was more than grateful for it.

"I know we might get tight on money. I do want to work till I get too big..", you blurred out, letting your biggest worries out. Joel quickly cupped your face, "Don't you worry your cute head about that. I will take more shifts, and we will be fine", yet you still frowned at him. You didn't want him to work any more than he already did. It felt wrong to let him carry the income burden on his own. "I can still work", "I will only agree to that if you are feeling one thousand percent sure that you can do that. I would much more prefer you stayed at home." You did figure it all out, as you always did. Sarah was over the moon to get a sibling, and now more than ever, this felt like a family.

Joel hurried down the stairs just as Sarah came back with Malakai in her arms. Your husband quickly leaned in to kiss you as he grabbed a cup of coffee. "Birth-a", Malakai clapped. Sarah leaned in to whisper something into his ear once again. "Daddy Old," he said happily, making you let out a laugh, especially when that proud smirk painted Sarah's face. Joel shook his head, "I'll send Cooky Monster after you two. Come here and hug me, you crazy bunch." Watching your kids wrapped up in Joel's strong arms always made you feel some type of way. He was the best father a child could ask for.

"No pancakes?", Sarah grumbled as she looked at the scrambled eggs in front of her, "Frown at your father, he forgot to buy it". It was a tradition to have pancakes on birthday mornings. One that all four of you took very seriously. But with the job load only getting bigger, you couldn't blame Joel for forgetting to get it. "Will we at least get the cake?", "I'll buy one on my way home, I promise," Joel said, scuffing down the egg. Sleeping in meant more rushing, especially when he still needed to drop Sarah off at school.

"Good cause it would be a shit birthday if we didn't at least get that", she said in frustration, "Language young lady", you nudged her shoulder. "Your shirt is insane out, handsome", you pointed your fork Joel's way as he dropped the empty plate in the sink. "No, it is not," he argued, looking down, "Dad, you are seriously getting old," Joel grumbled while taking off his shirt. You moved to feed Malikai, trying to hide your smile.

"You and I, tonight after the kids are asleep. I have special plans with you", Joel cupped your face, leaning in to kiss you a couple of times. "Gross!", Sarah shouted from the hallway, making you two laugh. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Miller", you packed his lips one more time. God, was letting go of this man hard. "I know what I am still capable of," Joel teased back, making you raise your eyebrows, " I'll be the judge of that tonight, sir."

You three had already eaten dinner. Malakai had been sleeping on your chest for quite some time. Sarah dozed off slightly as you waited for Joel to come home. He was late. That, of course, upset Sarah. You wished it was different. That she would see more of him. You hoped that now that you had landed a pretty good job deal, you could balance it out. That Joel could be home more often, and the kids wouldn't have to miss him that much.

The sound of the keys jingling made you stir as you noticed Joel walking into the living room. He was tired, as always. Sarah stirred from beside you. "You're so late," she mumbled, leaning more into you as you ran a hand through her hair. "I know, baby girl; I'm so sorry." Joel kneeled in front of her, carefully tickling her side in hopes to make the grumpy go away. "Did you at least get the cake?", Joel cursed under his breath. All the way home, he knew he had forgotten something, but it only hit him now. "Are you for real, dad?", "I promise I'll get the biggest cake I can get for you all tomorrow."

Sarah looked up at him, letting out a sigh as she reached to wrap her hands around her father's neck. Joel pressed her close to his chest, holding her just a tad harder than most evenings. "I got you something but it's upstairs", she said rubbing her sleepy eyes. Once she had disappeared from the room, you turned to Joel. "I'm so sorry for messing it up," he muttered, sitting down next to you. "Jokes on you, you messed your birthday up." You leaned closer to him. Malakai grumbled in his sleep, his eyes opening for a moment. The sight of his father finally being home made him reach for Joel. He instantly scooped the boy up, pressing a loving kiss to the top of his curly hair as he rocked him a couple of times. Malakai eased into sleep immediately. And you weren't too surprised about it—the warmth Joel carried was enough to make anyone fall asleep within seconds.

"Open up," Sarah said as she handed Joel a box. He shook it a couple of times, trying to inspect it without seeing it. "I know it was laying in your drawer for some time now", "Where did you get the money for it?", Joel looked at the old watch that he had to give up on years ago. "Drugs," Sarah said casually, making you let out a laugh that Joel joined soon after. "I think you got mugged, though it's not ticking." Joel pushed the watch to his ear, and Sarah's face paled as she moved to grab it out of her father's hands. The sound of ticking filled her ears, making her roll her eyes and say, "Not funny, dad."

You moved to wrap your arms around her, dragging her onto the bed with you. She would be sandwiched between you and Joel. "How about a movie, and then I'll tuck my two gremlins into bed", Sarah playfully hit Joel's chest, "Mom, will fall asleep within minutes", she turned to watch you already almost dozing off. "I won't say I won't, but I'm giving you ten minutes, and you will be out as well", you hugged her closer, eyes falling onto Joel who looked down on you two fondly.

"If I knew what was going to happen that night… I would", your voice died down, "I don't even know what I would have changed, but I wish I could go back, you know? To try to do something differently", Ellie looked at you. If you had let yourself smile a little at the thought of the happy memories she knew that now was the time when the real shit was going to go down. Ellie inched closer to you. Leaving her cup on the table as she took a hold of your hand once again.

"I have four civilians by the river," the male said sharply into the radio. "Joel," you whispered, pressing Momo closer to your chest as your breathing picked up. Joel wished he could reach for you and hold you close as well, but he knew that now that was impossible. "We'll be okay, love. All of us will be okay," Joel whispered, his eyes not leaving the soldier in front of him. "Uncle Tommy," Sarah whispered, looking between you and Joel. "We'll get you two and mommy somewhere safe, and I'll go back to look for him," Joel said as calmly as he could, pressing Sarah even closer to him.

The soldier lifted the gun, making you shake your head. "We're not sick", Joel managed to say before the shots rang out. Everything that happened after that was a blur and a slow-motion movie at the same time. The fall off the curb. The cries from Malakai rang out even louder than the bullets. You fell right beside Joel, your hands clinging to the boy and pressing him closer to you. The light from the gun made you close your eyes once again. "I'm sorry", you heard the soldier rasp out, "No, please", Joel exhaled, moving as quickly as he could to shield your body with his own as yet another shot fired. Joel's hand pressed down onto you tightly, not even letting go when the sound around him died down.

"Oh god", Tommy's voice made Joel lift his head, turning his attention to where his younger brother was looking. And there was Sarah. Her breaths were shallow as she pressed down on her side, which was bleeding heavily. Joel felt as if his world stopped for a moment as he crowed towards her. "No… no," Joel breathed out, "You're okay, baby girl, you're okay." His eyes fell on the wound that was pouring out bright red blood. "Sarah", you called out, inching towards her, gasp leaving your mouth as you saw just how bad it was. Joel tried to move her up, but Sarah only screamed out in pain, "I know, baby, I know. I need to help you up."

Joel's eyes were on you as you sobbed by Sarah's side. Hands were now just as soaked as his with sticky blood. Joel looked at Tommy, who was holding Malakai, then back to Sarah, who was gulping down air. He couldn't let his baby die. Not here. Not now. Not his little girl. Not his butterfly. Joel pressed his palms to the shot wound harder, making Sarah roar in agony, "I know it hurts, but you will be okay". You brushed your hand over the side of her face, not trusting your words anymore.

"Tommy, help me!", Joel shouted, but once he turned his attention back to his brother, his breathing stopped. Your eyes followed Joel's gaze. Eyes grew wide at the sight of Tommy standing there with a gun pointed at his head. Malakai being dragged away by another soldier. You quickly rose to your feet. "Give me my boy!", you shouted. No longer sounding like yourself. More like a wild animal out for blood.

"That's a child. Are you going to kill a child?", you stepped closer, but only got met with the back of the gun hitting your back, making you fall back to the ground. "Please, please, I'll do anything," you croaked out, pulling yourself up as you watched the soldier stop in its tracks. The boy in his arms reached out to you as he cried. The soldier let go of Malakai, and for a split second, a rush of hope flowed through you. He was going to come back to you. Your baby boy was going to be okay.

You reached your hands towards him as he took wobbly steps towards you. "Come here, baby, come here, Momo," you called out, barely being able to see through the tears streaming down your cheeks. "Mama," he cried out, making you nod your head. And then the shot rang out. The sound that you knew was going to hunt you for the rest of your life. You saw the bullet pierce Malakai's head as his body sagged to the floor.

The scream that fell from you was far from human. The pain that pierced you was as outrageous. You quickly moved forward, ready to kill the man who had just killed both of your kids cold-heartedly. You didn't make it far as two hands quickly pulled you over to the side. Turning you away from the lifeless body of the toddler.

Joel knew he had to get to you before you joined the kids on the ground. He held onto you for dear life as you trashed in his hands, "I will fucking kill you, do you hear me? I will rip you to pieces, you fuck," you screamed, trying to get loose and out of Joel's embrace. "Let go of me, let me kill him," you spat, nails digging into Joel's arms as you tried to push them away. "I've got you; you need to breathe." His words made you stop. You looked him in the eyes for the first time that night. Another sob escaped your lips as you sank to the floor, hands ripping at the skin of your chest, "Kill me, let me die, I don't want to live", your words were broken in between harsh intakes of breath. Joel shook his head once again, wrapping his arms around you, "I need you, please, I need you".

The sound of the door closing made you jump. You had no clue when you finished telling the story. You don't remember zoning out. Ellie was still holding your hands, her own eyes puffy from crying. Joel stopped in his tracks. The sight of him was not something he imagined coming home to. Your face was pale. Streaks of tears are still visible on your cheeks. Ellie didn't look any better. "What happened?", Joel quickly closed the distance between you. "Did someone hurt you? Are you hurt?", he took a hold of your trembling hand before turning to Ellie. "I…", she started, but the world failed her. The panic inside Joel only grew.

"Ellie found out about Sarah and Momo," you whispered, closing your eyes in hopes to stop the tears from falling once again. To the sound of the names, Joel's jaw clenched as he sat down on the table that was behind him. "I'm so sorry. I just saw the memorial." Joel only shook his head. "I swear I didn't", "Ellie," Joel said firmly, making her stop.

He knew this day would come. He might be half deaf, but he wasn't blind. Joel knew that Ellie was up most nights when you would scream. And was quite surprised that she hadn't yet brought this up in any way. But then again, she wasn't a stupid girl; she knew her boundaries. You rose to your feet, and Joel was quick to steady you, yet you brushed his touch away. "I need some fresh air", "I'll come with you", Joel insisted, but you shook your head, "I want to be alone for a moment". He was going to fight that choice, but by now he had grown to understand that in moments like this, letting yourself feel it out alone, at least at the beginning, was the best option.

Ellie couldn't bring herself to look at Joel as she fidgeted with her fingers, "I didn't mean to…", "I thought I was going to lose her after it all", Joel's words took Ellie by surprise. She quickly turned her gaze toward him. Joel was staring blankly at the wall in front of him. "She did everything she could to die. I didn't sleep; I couldn't. Was too afraid that I would miss something, won't be able to stop her", he exhaled sharply, hands coming over his face for a second.

"You had the biggest impact on Y/N. I saw her smiling for the first time in twenty years when you came by", Joel shook his head. Ellie couldn't utter a single word as he continued to stare at him. "I never meant to hurt you," "You never did. I feel the safest with you. I love you both as my parents. You have been the closest thing to a family that I've ever had," Ellie blurted out quickly. Joel turned to her, his eyes glistening with tears. "I won't let anyone hurt you," Joel whispered, clenching his jaw. Ellie fell into his arms, wrapping herself around his torso. "I know because you've never let anyone down, and you're not about to start doing that now."

[leviscolwill]

adore

pairing: bsf!jude x fem!reader

summary: you adored your friendship with jude, but sometimes you wished things weren't so complicated between the two of you. [wc: 3,2k]

contents: mostly angst ??? a few cute moments here and there bc i'm fluff girly thru and thru 🤞, they can't communicate to save their life, drunk jude, a random man being annoying, jude being a dumb fuck, language, did i miss anything ?

note: this wip has been rotting in my drafts for a couple of months, i hope you enjoy it because i really enjoyed writing it 🫶

now playing adore by cashmere cat & ariana grande...

"please don't leave me y/n... you don't understand, i need you here."

"jude, i'm literally going to the toilet. i'll be back in 5 minutes, now let me go."

your best friend had always been the clingy type whenever he'd reach his alcohol limit (which was usually only after a couple of drinks). but tonight he was practically glued to your side, not that you minded, you basically spent your whole life attached by the hip. but you had to admit, it hurt a bit to see the person you couldn't have, not in the way you wanted to have him, at least, act all lovey-dovey with you.

the nature of your relationship with jude was complex, to say the least. he was your best friend since you were kids and you wouldn't change that for the world. but the way he looked at you sometimes made you yearn for something more, or whenever his touches on your shoulder or your waist would linger a bit too long to be friendly. maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, after all, the chances of jude wanting you the way you wanted him were very low, not to mention the fact you led two different lives. but it didn't matter, you could manage to live and long for him with the hope that one day you could be more than a best friend to him. and this thought was all you needed to face him and his sparkly eyes for the rest of the night.

when you got out of the bathroom, your mind was still full of thoughts of your relationship with jude running in your mind. you were so engrossed in your thoughts that you bumped into a man's chest, not really being careful about your surroundings.

"i'm sorry, i wasn't looking." you quickly apologise to him, you were already on your way to your friends before the man grabbed your wrist, quickly letting it go.

"it's okay sweetheart, can i get your name as an apology ?" you cringed at his poor attempt at flirting with you, but you weren't feeling confrontational tonight.

"i'm-"

"y/n !" jude's voice made your head turn in surprise.

"you were gone for so long i almost forgot what your beautiful face looked like." he said smashing his face on your shoulder.

"is that your boyfriend?"

"ummm, no he's my-"

"depends who's asking." jude interrupted you, side-eyeing the nameless man.

"jude. i can speak for myself." the look he gave you broke your heart a bit, his lips pouting in sadness.

"if he is not your boyfriend, i'd gladly take your number, might even take you back to my hotel room..." it was obvious to everyone around that the situation was uncomfortable for you, that familiar feeling of disgust you always got when a man was being too friendly creeping on you.

"who do you think you are?" your best friend stared at the man with a frown on his face.

"jude, let's not..." the tension between the two men was evident as people stopped to stare at whatever was happening.

"relax mate, i just wanna talk to your friend nothing more." the stranger grabbed your wrist, still looking at jude, testing him, testing how far he would go to stop this.

"let me go." you didn't have to try getting away from him because jude did it for you.

the nameless guy suddenly let you go, and seeing him hold his jaw while screaming profanities at your best friend was all you needed to understand what just happened. jude punched him, but the alcohol in his veins prevented him from dodging the punch that came straight for his eyebrow.

immediately you took jude's arm before he found another idea to mess up your night some more, and walked out of the packed club for some air. you ordered a uber for the two of you and texted your friends that you were getting home early.

even fresh air couldn't rid you of the anger that coursed through your body. of course, you were mad at the man who couldn't keep his hands to himself. but another part of you couldn't help but be pissed at jude and his impulsive behaviour. but when you looked at him and saw blood trickle down from his eyebrow, everything was suddenly forgotten and you could only worry.

"fuck you're bleeding, why didn't you tell me? fuck, fuck, fuck." you searched through your bag for a tissue, mentally cursing yourself for how messy it was, and handed one to jude.

"just didn't wanna bother you..." he mumbled, holding it to his wound.

you both waited for the uber in complete silence, you knew you needed to have a conversation with jude about what just happened but you'd do it tomorrow, when he was sober and when your judgement wouldn't be clouded by anger.

thankfully, your uber didn't take too long to arrive, you helped jude put his seatbelt on after watching him struggle with it for a good minute. the atmosphere was tense and it seemed the driver felt it so he didn't try to make conversation with any of you.

you were halfway to your destination when you felt jude's fingers brush against yours lightly. you took a glance at where your hand lay, on the middle seat, jude's hand was right next to yours and when you looked at him he was suddenly entranced by his shoes, busy pretending it never happened.

you were sick of him acting like a child, so you held his hand, since he obviously wouldn't do it himself. the rest of the drive was silent but the atmosphere was peaceful, a nice change from the club.

you let go of jude's hand once you arrived at the villa you rented with your group of friends. you immediately took jude to the bathroom to clean his cut, he looked like a child while you were gathering the material you needed, mumbling words to himself with a frown on his face.

"is it gonna hurt?"

"probably not." these were the first words you exchanged since the club, the uneasy atmosphere of the room wasn't one you were used to whenever you were with jude. he was the one person who could understand you the best in the world, but it just wasn't the case tonight.

"can you hold my hand?" it was like he turned four again. but you couldn't deny anything from him, especially not when his eyes were glassy from all the drinks he had, so you took jude's hand in yours.

you started cleaning the cut, fully focused on your task, trying your best not to be distracted by the way your faces were inches from each other's.

"you're so pretty..."

if there was one thing you knew about drunk jude, it was that had loose lips. he couldn't keep any secret from you whenever he had the right amount of alcohol in his veins, and that often worked in your favour, but right now his words were only distracting you from your job.

"don't say that..." your heart was racing both at his words and at the proximity you two shared.

"i mean it." he was tracing your jaw with his fingers. you felt your hand quiver at the unexpected contact, and afraid you might mess something up because of jude, you quickly put a bandage on top of his, now clean, cut.

you started tidying up everything you used and expected jude to go to his room but he didn't budge.

"what's wrong?" you were a bit worried his injury was more serious than you thought and his brain was just working a bit slower than usual.

"kiss it better... please?" he said pointing at his bandage with a kissy face.

you were torn between kissing or slapping some sense into the boy standing in front of you. jude bent down so your face was in front of his, you obliged because you knew hammered jude would not have let you go to bed before you kissed him better. not because you wanted to, of course.

he was still unmoved, looking deep into your eyes so you took his hand in yours and led him to his bedroom for him to get a good night of sleep.

once you got jude to his bedroom safely, which wasn't an easy task given how starstruck he was at every little everyday thing in the house, he threw himself on his bed and grumbled something about clothes, before taking off his shirt with no prior notice. you immediately looked at your feet to give him some privacy while he changed clothes. he only giggled at your action saying he knows how much you would like to watch undress. which wasn't true, of course.

you took a quick peek, to make sure he was under his sheets. handing him a glass of water once he had his sheets pulled up to his chin and a content look on his face.

"no thanks, i'm not hungry."

"this is a glass of water?" you were perplexed at jude's words. the fatigue of your body preventing you from trying to understand his nonsense.

"well, i'm not hungry for water." you sighed at his childlike behaviour and considered shoving the water down his throat at some point before retracting, not really wanting to deal with the homicide of one the most in-demand football players of the moment.

you placed the glass on his bedside table and walked towards the door, unwilling to talk to a very drunk jude when all your body asked for was a good night of sleep.

but you couldn't ignore jude calling your name in a tired voice. you turned around to listen to whatever he had to say to you, only for him to beckon you closer with his hand. you rolled your eyes but still obliged, sitting on the unoccupied side of his bed.

"i just wanted to know why you were mad at me tonight." you didn't want to have this conversation tonight, but it seemed jude had other plans.

"because even if your intention was right, i think we could've solved the issue with no fits of screaming and fighting. i know you meant right but you can't just act without thinking all the time." you weren't even sure jude was registering your words properly, his eyes moving up and down your face.

"but i was mad at him too, he kept talking to my girl as if i wasn't right there." although jude was hardly convincing by the way the words came out of his mouth all slurred, you had to admit him calling you his girl put a faint smile on your face.

you thought your best friend was done but he just kept right on.

"fuck, you don't even know how many times i wished i was your boyfriend to stop these men looking at you that way. i mean i wished i was your boyfriend all the time, but especially then and also when you show me whoever you're talking to, you really have a vile taste in men y'know."

you looked at jude in total shock, he wasn't aware of what he just said from the way his face had the same drunken expression as before.

"do you mean it?" maybe he was pulling a prank on you. the look on his face didn't seem too serious, but then again he was drunk, how could you know how serious he was?

he laughed, how could he laugh in what was a very serious situation from your point of view?

"of course i mean it, sometimes it even looks like you want me too, maybe i just thought wrong. just tell me you don't want me, i reckon i could live with the fact i'm your best friend a bit longer." jude's nonsense somehow got even more nonsensical. how could he be saying all this with a smile on his face? even worse, how could he possibly think you didn't want him to be your boyfriend? you didn't even know what to say to him. hell, was there even a right thing to say in this exact situation?

"you can't do this to me jude... you can't just say this shit to me when you're drunk out of your mind. what do you expect me to say? i don't even know if you're aware of what you're telling me right now." words finally found their way out, your voice was much less cheery and much angrier than his as you felt a sense of injustice seeping through your veins. how could he say this to you like it was the simplest thing in the world? did he only love you when he was drunk? did he actually mean that, or was he over-exaggerating things under the influence?

"i love you and i loved you for a long time, please believe me, i know you're my best friend, and i don't want to ruin things between us... but i just needed to get this off my chest." jude was truly confused as to why you were so mad at him for this sudden 'confession'. of course, you didn't have to reciprocate his feelings, but he could only think about how he ruined your friendship for good from the way you responded so vehemently.

"goodnight jude." you left his room before he could add anything, and your thoughts were already running wild. you weren't sure if you should be feeling happy that he felt for you what you felt for him, or if you should be mad at jude for dropping this bomb on you so suddenly when he could clearly not think straight, making you doubt about the whole thing.

if you were overthinking before, your brain was now about to explode from everything that just happened in the span of an hour.

once you got under your sheets, no amount of sheep counting, lofi music, or breathing methods could put you to sleep. your brain was screaming at you, urging you to freak out about what just happened. every and each of your thoughts led back to jude, your own brain was torturing you, forcing you to separate truth from fiction at 3am.

you wished jude told you the truth, you wished his drunken words were his sober thoughts. but you didn't know how you were supposed to act like this never happened if this wasn't the case. how could you possibly come back to your little role, so well perfected over the years, of jude's best friend after he gave you the smallest glimpse of hope? your friendship with jude was the most important thing for you, but you wondered if you'd be able to pretend for the rest of your life or if you would go insane before that.

when sleep finally started taking over your endless train of thought, you came to the conclusion that if he meant what he said earlier, he'd have no issues telling you once he sobered up. you comforted yourself with this idea while your eyes closed by themselves, no more energy left in them to fight for the sake of overthinking.

jude had been avoiding you all day. the only time you exchanged an eye contact was during breakfast and even then he quickly went back to his room, not speaking a word to you. you could tell he was avoiding you like the plague, if he happened to be where you were he'd immediately flee the room, suddenly mesmerized by his phone.

you wished you were mad at him for how he was treating you and how he was making you feel, but the truth is, you could only focus on your heart breaking a little more each time he'd walk past you like you were two strangers.

after dining with the rest of your friends, you decided you were sick of jude's little games. if he didn't want to talk to you, then you would confront him whether he liked it or not.

it took you all the strength of the world to knock on his door after taking a deep breath.

no answer.

there was no way he knew it was you, you were sure of it. maybe he was just avoiding everyone tonight? you quickly refuted this idea, you saw him laugh with a couple of your friends half an hour ago.

you knocked again, a bit harsher this time to make sure he'd hear it. still nothing. you were preparing yourself to knock one more time, with much less hope than the first time.

"y/n, what are you doing?" yasmeen's voice startled you, it almost felt like getting caught doing something you shouldn't be doing.

"um... just needed to talk to jude, do you know where he is?" you couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the question. you were his best friend, if anyone should know where he was, that would be you. and your friend's dumbfounded look wasn't helping the heat creeping on your face right now.

"what do you mean? he left like an hour ago, had an unexpected meeting in london or something like that... he didn't tell you?"

it had been a very long time since you felt this way, maybe since middle school when your math teacher made fun of you in front of the whole class. your mouth suddenly drying, the sensation of your heart constricting, and your eyes stinging, trying their best not to let the sadness spill. it all felt like one big joke, you hoped jude would open the door, he'd tell you he was messing with you, he'd tell you everything he said last night again.

but that moment did not come. you couldn't answer yasmeen, afraid that the truth might spill along with your tears if you uttered a word. you simply shook your head, and went to your room, trying your best not to meet her eyes. your friends weren't blind, they could tell something was wrong between jude and you today, although none of them asked you what happened, they just kept a watchful eye on you and the way you looked at jude, in hopes he'd look back.

it felt good to cry in the privacy of your own room, far from the speculative conversation others were most likely having about the whole situation.

once your eyes were short of tears, you somehow found the strength to take your phone and click on your messages with jude to type a new one.

let's just keep doing what you did all day

i'll pretend you don't exist and last night never happened

probably best for us :)

[mchlgayser]

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐆𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 [tokyo revengers various]

⸻ cw: hurt/no comfort, triggering events and poor writing skills.

qeena's brief note: i'm here after nearly a month went MIA

໒꒰ྀི o̴̶̷̤ ̯o̴̶̷̤ ꒱ྀ১ first of all, thank you so much for 1.13k followers on tumblr (i honestly still can't believe it lol) you guys did a lot for me throughout my years here in this platform like bro i love you guys sm andddd thank uuuu! ik lots of my ole mutuals are no longer active but still, thank you so much to you guys for your continuous support 💙 and thanks to my readers (from jude girlies readers to anime girlies readers), thank you so much. last to wrap things up, here a small sorry gift from me after went missing, a tokyo revengers drabble! happy (sad) reading xoxo!! i love you <33

𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐎: too preoccupied with his work.

The sun disappears behind the horizon and the daylight soon fades. The once cheerful home, turn out dingy and dejected. Tears spew down your cheeks to your chin as you examine one single paper lay before your eyes. The saying above appear clear "Divorce Paper" with your signature on the very right and below.

"So, this is it?" You sneer, teeth grinding against each other "Don't 'so, this is it' me right now, you know well none of this would've have to happen if you could be a bit more considerate." He did not say a word, look down on the floor as if it could've been the most entertaining object in the world.

"I'm busy, there's too much works I need to tend-"

"You said that last week, and the other month and even months before that! How come you're always busy with your job that you can't loiter around with me even for a minute. You left at early mornings, before the sun pops out, you're gone, out of sight and when you came back, you're tired, hot and needed rest. I'm sick of it, Manjiro. I can't do this anymore, ...so yeah, this is it."

He didn't notice the luggage you had beside you until you pull it forward "I'll have my lawyer pick the paper tomorrow morning. Please have is sign by then." A last drop of tear fall cascade down your cheek, like a stray until you wipe it off.

"Goodbye, Manjiro."

𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐌𝐀 𝐒𝐇𝐔𝐉𝐈: cheated on you.

He said- No, he promised the last will be the last time. The last time you had to pick up the last shattering pieces of your dignity. The last time you had to faced the brutally honest reality of your marriage. He promised...

And yet, he broke it again. Today is supposed to be a good day. A happy day as it's a 'happy' birthday for a reason, right? But no, the happy day turned out to be your most saddening, fucked up moment in life. You left home to pick up a dress you custom made for yourself, to go buy your favorite cake at your favorite cafe. You didn't expect to come home, seeing him with your maid on the bed. She was half-naked, bra straps off her shoulder and his clothes thrash on the side.

It's a mess. The splat noise of the cake make a noisy sound and both of their ears perked up "Thought both of you had gone deaf that you both didn't hear me knock for five fucking minutes!" She frantically hid herself beside the bed, where you can't see her but you practically lunge at her, ripping strands after strands of her fake blonde hair "You fucking bitch. I picked you up at the gutter and this is how you fucking repayed me?!" Hanma tries to block into your attack but you punches him making him stumbled.

"And you, rot in hell with your fucking promises! I trusted you, not once, not twice but fucking three times!" He hold you by your shoulder but you slap his face away.

"Dont touch me! Don't you fucking dare..." Your punches ended weak and helpless. Tears pool beneath your eyes but no, they're not sad tears. It's resent, anger and betrayed tears.

"I'll file a divorce, fuck you and that bitch." You push him off, slapping him on the face one last time. The stone on the ring slash through his cheek and he bleed slightly "I'l fucking take half of your fortune, lustful bitch."

You turn to the woman "And you..." You peel the ring off of your ring finger aggressively and throw it to her chest "Keep that shit. I'm outta here." Hanma didn't try to say anything, just mumbling an apology before you walk out that door.

You turn back and look at him, he didn't look remorseful - he did, but it could never be enough to make you crawl to him once more "Shove your apology up your ass, Hanma."

𝐇𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐊𝐎𝐊𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐈: can't move on from his past.

At first, it was okay. You can even claim it to be perfect. But that was at first, soon everything gradually becoming worse. He started to get busy with works or as he claimed it. He told you he won't be coming home at a day but sometimes, he remained unresponsive for days. You don't know where he go until you heard from his close friend, Inupi that Kokonoi had been sleeping over at his house.

That means he was not so busy after all. You confronted him about it and as you thought he'll get angry, he remained calm and apologised. He just said that he wanted some time for himself. Of course, that's foreign coming from him as he's always been the type to want to stay close to you.

He still bought you monthly gifts just as he promised he would when you both first got married but they are just not the same anymore. He started giving you tulips when your favorite flower is gerberas. He started giving you white flavored chocolate, and that's weird. You always like the original flavor with nuts in it. Kokonoi just started making unusual mistakes.

Then, one day, he did it. The mistake he can't never undo. You both had Inupi over to your house because Kokonoi wanted to discuss something with him regarding business and when he left for the bathroom, Inupi unlock his phone revealing whom seem like a teenage girl with a peach blonde hair like Inupi and she's holding a bouquet of pink tulips "Sei, who's this?"

He turn to look at you, wondering who you were asking about "...Oh, this is Akane. My older sister. She passed away when she was 16." You nod your head, sadden to hear that.

"I'm sorry for your loss." You look at Inupi then to the ground "But, can't I know if she had any sort of relation with Kokonoi before I met him?" Inupi is confused as to why you'd ask that but he nodded his head.

"Koko used to like my sister."

And he came into the living room. You turn to look at him, almost livid "Is that so..." Both Kokonoi and Inupi look at you, confused.

"What is it?"

"Can't you move on?" Your question caught both of them by surprise, especially Kokonoi "You've been buying me stuff recently but they're never what I like. You got me pink tulips, cute hairbands and books when you should know damn well I like none of those."

"Did you think of her when you got me all of those? Or was it Sei's sister you're trying to give that gifts to?" He tried to explain himself but you kept cutting him, not wanting to hear none of his excuses.

"Please, just listen Akane!" The silence defeaned and the occasional sound of the wind whisper in the background as it soon faded. You look at him, wide eyes "Wow. You are incredible, Hajime. So. Fucking. Incredible." You tried to walk past him but he kept you back, trying his best to talk it out.

Inupi just sat there, dumbfounded. He only back in his trance when he heard a crash and the vase on the table smash to the ground with puddle of water and the pink tulips scatter on the wet carpet.

You stare down at the tulips, scoffing to yourself "This is enough. I'm not nobody's rebound, I have respect for myself... I can't do this, I won't." You push him off and tread to your bedroom, slamming the door shut leaving Kokonoi alone in the living room as Inupi too, got up and left, disappointed by his friend's behavior.

𝐑𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐈: constant jealousy and overprotective.

You know what you put yourself into when you started dating the Ran Haitani. Ran can be obsessive with you, overly jealous with whom you befriends with, and got really protective over it. But you'd never imagine even in your wildest dream would he start to oppressed your freedom away from you - objecting your idea to meet anyone other than him, that includes your family members as well.

You put up with it, begrudgingly until today, it's an important date for you to attend and besides, it's been a while since you meet your family members so you went ahead, not bothering to tell him because you know well he will say no, no matter how hard you. You are having a great time with your family, chatting together after a while and leaving Ran texts from time to time but you certainly did not expect him to burst his way inside the venue, all rigid and mad.

How rude of him. He pull your hand and immediately get you out of there "Ran, stop. Ran, stop it!" You smack his back and he halt in his steps. He look back at you, glaring down at you with his jaw clenched.

"Just what the hell are you doing, Y/n? Going out behind my back like this and for what? To flirt and whoring around─" Smack, blood trickles from the corner of his lips when you slapped him across the face.

"You had no respect for my family, and for me, Ran Haitani. You failed us." He tried to put his hands around you shoulder but you pry his hands away "Don't. I put up with your ridiculous acts for years. I obeyed like a goddamn dog for you to disrespect me like this? You are fucking insane, Ran..."

"Love, I just don't want you to mixed along with that kind of people─"

"What kind of people, Ran? They're my family. I may have not like most of them but they're my family and the least you should do is respect them as I do. You barged in, acting like you're the main event, embarrassing me, and disrespected them. You may think you're above others but you're not. My family, we may not be as rich and lavish as you - if we're talking about lifestyle, we're alien to each other but I always expect you to be kind, Ran Haitani."

"You can't go around acting like the world revolve around you. I can't, and I'm sorry for that." You look up at him with pitiful eyes "I'm going now, good bye." You turn around and enters the same room he barged into a couple of minutes ago.

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 is open ✦ all rights reserved goes to @mchlgayser on tumblr.

[yourmomxx]

➵ angels talking - social media au | ln4 (1)

❥pairing - lando norris x fem!singer!reader (mentions of al12 x reader)

❥plot - Arthur Leclerc has been your best friend since your early childhood, you two grew up with each other and each other's families. Your closeness leads to fans suspecting there is more to your relationship, until, almost suddenly, the ball gets totally flipped

❥warnings - none, maybe ooc arthur leclerc sorry abt that

part i - the start | part ii - the number four

masterlist | requests

⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

♔꙳⋆ instagram ꙳⋆

yourusername posted a new story

formula2pics

liked by howaboutyoudont, emilyclarke and others

formula2pics @/yourusername & @/arthurleclerc outside the ‘Sweet Sugars’-Café last night in Silverstone, England, present to support Arthur’s brother, Charles Leclerc at the Formula 1 Grand Prix

Picture submitted by unknown source

view all comments

ynlnn look me in the eye and tell me they’re not in love

paddockgirl favorite couple

sidney(tv) they’re so cute together

bella.ltn supportive besties

itsbrutalouthere I just KNOW that they're dating

jojo.jpg childhood best friends to lovers, angst and fluff, 156k words slow burn

tswizzle definition of made for each other

leclersbabe arthur❤️❤️

mollym my favs

hotchswife can’t wait to see them in the paddock

itsellie anyone saw that picture in yns story if arthur?

↳ kaynwe @/itsellie omg yes he looked so good😍

↳ kellykiwi @/kaynwe the veins, the hair, the way he smiled at her?? just ugh😩

ferrariyn i’m just waiting for their relationship announcement

untitled they would be the cutest couple ever let’s be honest

exscapenight mom and dad actually

larinakali i miss them posting each other😭

yourusername

liked by formula2pics, oliviarodrigo and others

yourusername serious competitors since ‘08😎

view all comments

ynbabe new song featuring arthur??

lnfave desperately clinging to yns posts since arthur doesn’t show her on his feed😩

charthurleclerc not my favorite wag posting about my favorite driver

↳ amslerin @/charthurleclerc she’s no wag tho

suziesalmon hope you crushed him girly

↳ yourusername @/suziesalmon of course i did

tswizzle @/arthurleclerc take her as an example and give us some yn/arthur posts!!!

ynisbabe please baby arthur is so cute

carolyn she is feeding us with content

´lanadelslay this is a soft launch, actually (I'm delulu)

f1updates how much you wanna bet they were playing mario kart

paddockgirl they would be such a sweet couple tho

hazelnuts yn putting her entire soul into the karaoke while arthur doesn’t even know what to do is so funny to me

factorfic YES a new yn and arthur post, i manifested this

sabrinajenga your honor they’re in love

ferraridriveracademy

liked by arthurleclerc, frederic_vasseur1 and others

ferraridriveracademy Congrats to @/olliebearman and @/arthurleclerc on a Double Podium in Barcelona this afternoon!👏🏆

view all comments

leclersgirl whooo! arthur finally got the podium he deserved!!

hamiltonh so proud of them!

tom.oha these two are really some good drivers. i’m sure if they keep up their work they have much potential for f1!

charlesleclerc 🔥🔥

lucasclare so proud of my boys

sidney(tv) i literally screamed when they won, i’m so happy!!

interstellarfan123 that one penalty for frederick was so unnecessary

cheesestrings my two husbands

↳ suziesalmon @/cheesestrings they’re married to me wdym?

kaynwe the both worked so hard for this, i’m so glad

tangledinu sometimes i think about the fact that arthur has those huge footsteps of charles to fill, and that ollie seems to achieve everything that was expected of arthur

↳ isobella @/tangledinu that’s not fair you’re making me sad

sabrinajenga admin can you ask arthur for me where yn was today?

↳ realobama @/sabrinajenga was literally about to say the same thing

arthurleclerc

liked by olliebearman, ferraridriveracademy and others

arthurleclerc Thank you, Barcelona, for welcoming us greatly and for the support! 2nd place baby, yes!!❤️

view all comments

itsbrutalouthere arthur where is yn???

charlesleclerc such a great race man, really proud of you!🙌

lucasclare was really worried for you there in turn 7, but you managed it amazingly!!

suziesalmon why wasn’t yn in the paddock this weekend?

bimess you deserve this so much arthur!!

arthurfave can’t wait to be there live in abu dhabi

factorfic yn didn’t even like what’s happening

↳ hotchswife @/factorfic her phone probably fell in a river and that’s why she doesn’t have access to instagram (i’m delulu)

leclersbabe i am so happy for you!!

professorproton boy you better have a good explanation why yn wasn’t there, and you better have it now🤺🤺

forzaferrari miss seeing mom😢

frederickvestiofficial well done mate!

kellykiwi happy for your win, but where is yn?

itsellie hoping mom is just busy songwriting somewhere🤭

hamiltonh none of the post-race ask the real questions! for example, what did they change about the car, or WHERE THE HELL IS YN

ynbabe mom and dad are going through their divorce era?

f1news

liked by howaboutyoudont, lanadelslay and others

f1news YN YLN, famous singer and actress is reportedly in a close relationship with a Formula Racing Driver, a source claims - it is not revealed who it is. Fans have been asking themselves many questions after the long weeks of radio silence between childhood best friends YN YLN and Arthur Leclerc, the Ferrari Pilot for Formula 2

view all comments

reidbabe guys, i think this is it

hslot_forreal if it’s not Arthur i might throw myself in front of a car

tswizzle i’m conflicted i want it to be arthur so bad but at the same time their media hasn’t seemed right to me for ages now

liladonavan manifesting arthur x yn

ferrariyn that source better come clean i can’t take all this anticipation any more👏👏

↳ larinakali @/ferrariyn real.

sylviestone “dating a racing driver, won’t tell you who tho”

↳ jojo.jpg @/sylviestone😭😭

ynn1fan off topic but that’s a great picture of her

hannamountana no because i don’t know, i want it to be arthur so bad but at the same time idk mann

↳ emilyzkn @/hannahmountana i totally agree especially with her posting so much of him but him never posting her like what is going on there

↳ papayagirl @/emilyzkn their relationship has been off for such a long while tbh

exscapenight hoping arthur made a move before someone else did

↳ peppyi @/exscapenight no because watch someone else pulling her away from under arthur’s feet just because he was being a coward

yourusername

liked by sabrinacarpenter, oscarpiastri and others

yourusername paddock days🧡

view all comments

ferrarifan1 GIRL

landonorrizzzzzzz am i tripping or is that the wrong team???

maxfewtrell thought i saw a gremlin on the grid today🤔

↳ urfafdaydreamer @/maxfewtrell LMAO MAX WHAT

↳ yourusername @/maxfewtrell didn’t know they had mirrors all over the paddock??

↳ untitled @/yourusername what’s happening.

ynisbabe you’re so stunning

ynn1fan MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE MAILMAN

↳ leclersgirl @/ynn1fan THE MAILMAN IM CRYING

christiek 🧩🧩

therealobama nuh uh this feels wrong

charthurleclerc why weren’t you at arthur’s race??

sabrinacarpenter aah my love

ynwife girl is so pretty i can’t

tswizzle this is not the ferrari box??

strongandeuropean what are you doing at mclaren?

emilyzkn “reportedly dating a racing driver”

↳ hannahmountana @/emilyzkn i wish i understood math this fast

lucadevil papaya looks good on her

norisswife Is that Oscar in the likes that I see????

lanadelslay excited where this is going, honestly

♔꙳⋆ twitter ꙳⋆

♔꙳⋆ instagram ꙳⋆

landonorris

liked by sabrinacarpenter, oscarpiastri and others

landonorris paddock days

view all comments

oscarpiastri oh man

ynlnnn nuh uh

therealdannyric explanation??

norriswife he’s so beautiful

lnfave lando side profile >>>

ynisbabe guys is this it??

formula1obsessed last lap lando? more like last SLIDE lando

lastlaplando oh my god if this is yn i will actually scream

33maxverstappen that backside looks very familiar to me…

↳ melany @/33maxverstappen that must sound so strange out of context

carlaarcher this can’t be a coincidence

getthismanachair lando who is that??🎤

norisswife first Oscar in yn's likes and now Sabrina in Lando's?? what are the besties doing here?!

andystricks caption looks awfully familiar

itsbrutalouthere praying for a statement in these desperate times🙏

urfavdaydreamer soft launch??

hardlyanything lando let me see your spotify wrapped please👀

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, lukehemmings and others

yourusername with great dread i have to announce that i, indeed, fell in love with a man- and also, that this picture was taken right after the first date

tagged: landonorris

view all comments

landonorris i can almost feel your love for me through that caption😍

↳ yourusername @/landonorris 😙😙

sabrinacarpenter babes

oscarpiastri guess we won't hear the end of this ever

↳ danielricciardo @/oscarpiastri I will help you through this, mate

danielricciardo run as long as you can yn, i promise i won’t tell him where you went

↳ hannahmountana @/danielricciardo LMAO DANNY

oliviarodrigo so cute!!

kathrynnewton parents?

emilyzkn NO WAY

lanadelslay LETs GO GIRL

ynlnn THE SONGS GUYS I REPEAT THE SONGS

lilli(taylor's version) NEW FAVORITE WAG

landonorrizzzzzzz ARTHUR LECLERC WHO IS ARTHUR LECLERC I ONLY KNOW LANDO NORRIS

kellypiquet so excited to see you in the paddock more often😍😍

howaboutyoudont Lando noRIZZ what a LIEEEEEE

jojo.jpg gurl you so lucky!!!

hotchnerswife we're getting boyfriend Lando I can't believe it

f1news wish you all the best!!

suziesalmon the way she looks at him i. can. not.

↳ iknewyouweretrouble @/suziesalmon girly fell hardddd

charthurleclerc literally my two worlds colliding i can't breathe

bella.ltn caption so true

tswizzle they already feel like such a power couple i cannot

kathrynamy HARDEST LAUNCH TO EVER HARD LAUNCH

[moonselune]

hey hi! this one might be a bit too dark, but could you do one for the bg3 girlies where tav dies because of them? because of a decision they made for the party that backfired or something along those lines? xx

Ooo so sad, I only wrote teeny weeny drabbles for it but I hope you like it !

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Karlach

Karlach’s eyes widened in horror as she saw your lifeless body on the battlefield. She had urged you forward, her confidence in your abilities unwavering. The realization struck her like a warhammer: you were dead because she had pushed you too hard.

“I told you to move forward… I thought you’d be fine,” she whispered, her voice breaking. Guilt clawed at her heart, and tears streamed down her face as she knelt beside you, cradling your head in her arms. “I’m so sorry, love. I never meant for this to happen. I'm sorry..”

The fire that usually burned so brightly within her seemed to dim as she wept, mourning the loss of the one person she truly loved. There were no flames, no fire, nothing left within her.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Minthara

Minthara stood frozen, her usual confidence shattered as she gazed at your lifeless form. She had told you not to worry about the male drow assassin, convinced that he was of no threat, dirt beneath your boots. But now, here you were, an dead testament to her misjudgment.

“I told you not to worry,” she murmured, her voice uncharacteristically soft and filled with regret. Her voice rising in a panic of unknown emotion.“I was wrong. I failed you.”

Her eyes, usually so cold and calculating, were now filled with a sorrow she had never felt before. She knelt beside you, her fingers gently brushing your cheek. “Forgive me, my love. I should have protected you.”

The fierce warrior who had always seemed invincible now felt the weight of her failure. She had lost you, and nothing in the world could ever make that right and the world would burn for it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Lae’zel:

Lae’zel’s heart sank as she realized what she had done. In the heat of battle, her focus had been solely on the enemy, and she had accidentally caught you in her crossfire. The sight of your still body brought her to her knees, her weapon clattering to the ground.

“No… No.. this can’t be,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I didn’t mean to…”

Tears streamed down her face as she crawled to your side, her hands shaking as she reached out to touch you. The proud githyanki warrior was now a broken woman, her grief and guilt overwhelming. You had died by her blade, her hand. “You were my heart, my strength. How could I have done this to you?”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Shadowheart

Shadowheart’s heart ached as she saw you fall, the dark power of Shar’s smite still crackling in the air. She had always known that serving Shar came with risks, but she had never imagined it would lead to this. You lay lifeless before her, a casualty of her devotion to the dark goddess.

“No… not you,” she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. “Shar, why?”

She knelt beside you, her hands trembling as she tried to heal you, but it was too late. The tears she had held back for so long finally spilled over, her grief and guilt consuming her. “I’m so sorry, my love. I never wanted this to happen.”

Shadowheart realized the true cost of her allegiance. She had lost you, and the pain of that loss would be far greater than any other pain Shar could inflict on her.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaheira

Jaheira’s heart broke as she saw you succumb to the shadowcurse. She had warned you about the dangers, but in the chaos of the fight, you had gotten caught in its grasp. She ran to you, her magic flaring as she tried to heal you, but the curse had already taken its toll.

“No, please,” she begged, her voice filled with desperation. “Stay with me, love.”

Tears streamed down her face as she held you close, her hands glowing with healing magic that could no longer help. “I’m so sorry. I should have protected you better.”

The grief and guilt overwhelmed her as she realized that she had lost you to the very thing she had fought against. She had failed you, and the weight of that failure would stay with her forever. She reluctantly pushed you away, realising that your transformation would cause you to turn on her. She couldn't kill you, not again.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Oof this was angsty, I couldn't help but add that last line for Jaheira, I was feeling especially cruel hehe - Seluney xox

[renren-006]

Savior | Daryl Dixion x fem reader

plot: Daryl saved you, and you want to kiss your savoir warning: slight mentions of almost taken advantage of, violence word count: 1518 a/n: I just had to write this idea!

taglist: @rosecentury

Back when the world had just ended, and things were still unknown, you were wounded around Atlanta's wooded, less populated areas. You had run from your car that got overrun, remembering the screams of your parents and the harsh pain in your ankle after you fell from the car watching them. You still struggled on your ankle; hisses escaped your lips as you walked. You had not stopped long through the days to heal or to rest, not knowing where the next undead would come for your flesh. Your jeans were worn and dirty, your red shirt now had holes, and you desperately wanted a bath. 

The day Daryl came to your rescue was the first day you had fallen asleep next to a tree with the fire embers still cooling in the morning rays. You heard the crunch and woke with a startle; there were three men watching you, all eyeing your body like a prise. 

"Well, lookie here, boys, some fresh meat for us," one of them said, toying with his belt to hide the painfully evident erection there. All three of them had one. You didn't know what to do, had nowhere to go, and knew you wouldn't make it far with your ankle.

"Please don't," you said, your voice coming out louder than you intended, maybe preying someone would hear you. 

"Aw, look at her. She's begging. I want her first," the second man said, and the others shook their heads. 

"no way she's mine," The third said, pushing his friend back before strutting twords you.

"No, No!" you said, shouting; maybe even the undead would save you. "Please!" he came to you, and you struggled to push him off. The others were smiling, ribbing their pants, and wanting their turn. 

"Hurry up, man", the first man said. Wanting the man who was trying to get your belt off to rush. That was when an arrow went through the man's skull, making his body thud against the forest floor, and then the second man went down with a knife in the head. The man on top of you looked back and gave you just enough room for you to knee his body off you. The man looked angry as you went back further, your pants even more ruined from the mud. Thankfully, your belt was still on, and your pants only ripped slightly from his strength. The man went down soon after, and two men peered around the trees twords you. 

"Hey there, girlie?" one of them asked, the same face the men had before they died. The shorter one pushed him back, walking over to you, bending down by the man, and pushing him away so you couldn't see his dead eyes. 

"We ain't goin' to hurt ya," he said, his voice soothing you from wanting to leave. "We got ya know."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," the taller one said. 

"He ain't going to hurt you either. hands off, Merle," the man sad

"I got it", Merle said, getting the hint that I wasn't to be touched by him at all. 

"I'm Daryl, that ma brother Merle. He won't get his hands on ya," Daryl said to you, holding out a hand; this seemed to be the first act of kindness this man had shown anyone in a while, and his face read it all too well.

"You don't save many people, do you?" you asked him. He shook his head, lagging slightly.

"Nah, normally we don't run into people. ya needed help, coulden't leave" Daryl told you, gripping your hand in his as he lifted you up. "You aint got no weapons on you?"

You told him, "No… I didn't prepare for the world to end." He nodded his head. Merle looked around, noticing a few of the undead heading your way.

"We gotta move." 

That started your journey with the brothers for a few months. It was just you two. They trained you on how to hunt and how to fight, and most importantly, how to piss Merle off, so he left you alone. Daryl also made sure your ankle was looked after, and in no time, it was better. Merlemeantt, no harm to you; he was just desperate for action you never wanted to give him. Daryl became your savior and bodyguard, making sure Merle understood that would NEVER happen. 

The three of you traveled until you met others who welcomed you into their small, little mountain-top community. It was you, the brothers, some sisters, and a man named Dale for a bit. Soon, the group grew and grew, but you only hung with Daryl and cursed off Merle. 

However, the time with him on the mountain made you aware of your attraction twords Daryl, the want you craved when you were near him. You were late in your 20's20s, having experienced college before traveling home to your parents just before the world ended. In those times before Daryl, you felt like you were younger, but now you feel your age, you feel strong. For the time being, you felt strong until your group had to pack up and leave because of a walker outbreak. 

Months later, you were entering the farm, your hands wrapped around Daryl as he rode into the grounds. You were mesmerized by how quiet and large it was here. While the others were setting up, you glanced over at Daryl, who was setting his tent up a bit away from them but not so far that he was secluded. 

"You got a tent?" Carol asked. You looked back at the woman. You didn't know what you were going to do. For the past months, you had slept by Daryl and Merle, but now, you were not sure what you would do.

"She with me," Daryl said, coming over to you. You looked beside you at the man who had apparently finished setting up and had walked over. "That good?"

"Of course," you told him, smiling; he nodded and walked over to Rick and the others.

"You both need to talk about your feelings for one another," Carol told you. "I can see it clear as day."

"Carol!" you said to the woman who had become a mother of sorts to you over the months. “I…cant”

"I think you can. I think you should," she told you, patting your back and going over to the others, leaving you thinking about how exactly you could even begin to explain to Daryl how Head becomes the soul man you wanted to be with for the rest of this apocalyptic world. 

It took you weeks and weeks to gain the courage, and only after he got shot did you tell him. He was lying in that recovery bed, not able to move a lot. You came in and sat beside him. 

"Whatcha doing in 'ere," He asked you as you sat down in the chair by his bed. 

"I…needed to tell you something…" You said to him, referring to the breakfast you had only a few hours earlier, which was being eaten away by the nerves. 

"What? Ya hurt?" he asked, concern spreading fast across his face.

"No, no," you told him, "I…god, I don't think I can tell you."

"Tell me what?" he asked, his southern accent so strong inside that room that it made your head spin.

"How you've been making me feel," you started, "I just didn't. I don't want to lose you, and after you got shot, I figured I might as well tell you before you died, and I never did."

"What are ya going on about?"

"I love you, Daryl. I've loved you since you saved me, and God, I love you even more since you've shown me how to be strong in this world", you rambled to the man in the bed beside you. Your hands were in your lap, and your eyes were glued to them. 

"Y/N," Daryl said in a soft tone you had never heard from him. 

"I know I should have told you you were the man who saved me, and you probably think I'm some kid to you", you said. Worry eating at you again.

"I don't think you're some kid." he told you, "I think you're a lot more than that."

"You do? You asked, eyebrows scrunched together. 

"That first night you spent with us, I didn't sleep cause I couldn't keep my eyes off ya," he told you, "I thought you were…blessed by a god or somethin'" he told you, holding your stare; there were tears in your eyes now 

"I don't think I ever heard you talk like that," you said, smiling through the slight tears brimming your eyes. 

"Ya won't again," he told you, pulling you down to him and kissing your lips so deeply. The door behind you opened, and then the person proceeded to fall into the door.

"Finally," Carol screeched. Smiles stretched over her face, as well as Ricks', who came to check on Daryl. Finally, you got to kiss your savor after all these months.

[luvyeni]

Hellow. I was wondering if you can write this silly thing in my mind, Jay with a Chubby girlfriend, he's experienced and basically all the college girls recognize him as a sex God until he met her, she's virgin and insecure, like it actually took Jay a long time to gain her trust because she was thinking that it was impossible someone so popular and handsome like him liked some like her.

Here's my plot: all the girls have been talking about her and how fat and ugly she's making her even more insecure to the point that she push away Jay when he touched her like he usually does even just holding hands, especially when he holds her waist. But he's so in love with her that he just adores every single inch of her, reassuring her that no one is as beautiful as her, so he just kiss every inch of her making her first time so special and full of love and tears because I'm a cry insecure baby

Sorry for the long ask, literally i dreamed about this 🥺

FOREVER AND ALWAYS; PARK JEONGSEONG

pairings. boyfriend!jeongseong x fem!reader

wc. 1.9k

warnings. talks of weight, fatshaming, insecurities, oral (f. reader), unprotected sex, overstimulation, reader cries.

i hope it's like you dreamed💓! the bullying kind of made me sad since im a big girly myself, so i didn't add too much.

after finding out people have been saying horrible things about you, he's determined to show you how much he loves you.

—

"she's so shameless, if i was that fat i wouldn't wear such things." you frowned, looking down at the message wishing jay would hurry up. "yeah, jay is such a cute guy, he could get anyone he wants, i don't understand why he would date someone like her."

"it's probably a joke, it has to be."

you could hear them laughing at you , and they knew you could hear them. they knew because it was something you heard on a daily occurrence by people just like them.

"baby." jay ran over to you, kissing your cheek, noticing how you moved your face, but deciding to ignore it. "hey jay." the girls giggled flirtatiously. "hi." he turned back to smiling.

"my class got held up, im sorry, you ready to go home?" he went to grab your hand, something he always did when you'd walked back to your shared apartment near campus, so you could imagine his surprise when you brushed it away. "yeah, let's go."

jay was confused, it's been a while since you avoided his affection. when you started dated, jay had a reputation , that forbid you to trust him , being really standoffish , jay was much more experienced than you , actually you had no experience due to your insecurities. jay was aware of this , so he actually took the time to get to know you , and form a relationship with you , a year later and he didn't even care that you haven't had sex , he just wants to be around you all the time.

"let's stop and get some food to take home." he pointed to your favorite store. "i'm not hungry." jay was serious when it came to food though. "well then put in the fridge and eat it later, let's just get it now." he held the door open, letting you walk in.

"do you want the regular?" he stood behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist, kissing you lovingly. you felt eyes on you, and the chuckles, pushing his arm away. "get whatever jay." you went to go wait by the door, you didn't mean to sound so rude, but you really just wanted to go home.

jay couldn't even ask you what was wrong because he was next in line, and you had already put your headphone on, spaced out.

you walked the rest of the way in silence, headphones on as you finally made it to your apartment, taking your shoes off , making your way to your room, undressing out of your day clothes.

"wait, are we just not gonna talk about it." jay followed behind. "what are you talking about?" you searched through the drawer in your underwear and a tank top, looking for a pair of sweats.

"you've been acting weird the entire walk home, you've avoided my affection multiple times, you keep looking around to see if people are looking, what is it? what's wrong." you turned to him. "why are you still here?" he took a step back. "what."

"you can have anybody you want, there are girls lining up to have sex with you, they do it right in front of me so know, why are you here? what do you want from me? am i just a joke that you're stringing along for a laugh with your friends?" jay was stunned, even on your worst days, you've never snapped at him, and he could tell you didn't mean it either cause of the widening of your eyes.

"im so sorry, i didn't mean it." he was silent, just pulling you into a hug. "i'm sorry." he rubbed up and down your back. "it's okay." he whispered. "i know you didn't mean it." he could feel your shoulders shaking as you sniffled into his neck, your tears warm. "they're so mean." jay finally got what was bothering you , and he was pissed. how dare they make you feel like this, after everything he's done to make you feel secure, how dare they treat you like this.

"listen to me, there is no one as beautiful as you are, you understand me?" he looked at you with a serious face. "i don't want anyone else but you, and i will spend as long as i need to, to prove it to you love." he held your cheek in his hand, wiping the tears. "i love you okay?" you sniffled, nodding. "i love you too."

he kissed the apples of your cheeks. "my fools made my pretty baby feel bad about herself, they'll pay for this i swear." he kissed your lips. "my baby doesn't see how beautiful she is, but i do, she is the most beautiful person in the whole world." he kissed your neck. "i just love her so much." he said in between kissed. "j..jay." he shushed you. "let me show you baby just how beautiful i think you are." he backed you up against the bed, pushing you down softly.

"so so pretty." he climbed on top of you, continuing his assault on your neck. "j..jay, feels so good." you moaned. "yeah? does it?" he kissed down to your chest. "im gonna make you feel so good princess." his hand came up to grope your tits. "been waiting so long to feel these in my hand baby, so soft." you're back arched off the bed at the sensation. "so sensitive."

"t..they're too big." he lifted your shirt off your body, going back to squeezing them. "they're fucking perfect baby, i can't wait to fuck them, paint them with my cum." he licked a nipple. "jay f..fuck." you sighed, as he licked and sucked on your nipples, showing them each the same amount of love and affection, before he continued down to your tummy.

"your pretty tummy, love to touch. " his kisses were hot on your stomach. "made me feel really bad earlier, my pretty baby wouldn't let me touch her pretty tummy like i always do, it's my favorite thing, but she denied me." he was getting dangerously close to your underwear. "m..m'sorry." he gave your stomach one more kiss. "i know baby, you're gonna repay me by letting me eat your pretty pussy aren't you?" his words made your hips involuntarily buck up.

"y..yes." he slowly slid your panties down your legs, kissing up your legs, until he was face to face with your heat. "s.stop staring." you tried to close your legs, but he held them open. "sorry love, i can't help it, you're so pretty, everything about you is so pretty." he kissed the inside of your thighs. "i really want you to sit on my face." you whined, he looked up at you. "not right now." he nodded. "okay princess we don't have to, it's all about you." he gave your thighs a few more kisses, you could feel his breathing on your heat.

"jay please." you mewled trying to move your hips. "do something." he kissed your thighs one more time, before giving your cunt a surprise lick. "jay." your hands gripped the bedsheet. "taste so good baby." he gave your cunt a few kitten licks before eating you out like a starved man.

you've never felt something like this, the way he would switch between long stripes up your wet cunt, to little kitten licks, it had your head spinning. one particular lick had you grabbing his hair, grinding your cunt against his face. he moaned right into your heat, allowing you to use him to get yourself off.

"jay i feel- shit it feels so good." he could feel you gripping his hair a little harder, you about to cum. "go a head and cum pretty girl." you felt something build up in your abdomen, then snap. "im cumming!" jay continued licking your mess, riding out your high, until he felt your hips jerk from overstimulation. "j..jay."

"okay princess im done." he gave your clit one more kiss, before coming up, his lips glossed from your essence and spit. "you taste so good, i couldn't help it." his hand came down to his crotch, palming his hard on. "jay- we don't have to do anything right now, i just wanted to show you how much i love you."

you ignored him, replacing his hand with yours, rubbing him. "i want to, i'm ready." he groaned, hips bucking into your touch. "fuck- fine princess, i'll be gentle i swear." you trusted jay, you knew he wouldn't harm you. "i know you will." he climbed off of you, getting rid of all his clothes.

you never seen a cock before beside the videos, but his was probably the prettiest you've ever seen, he wasn't intimidatingly big; thick enough to make you feel good, veins decorated the sides all the way up to his dark red tip that had precum bubbling at the top, it made your mouth water.

"princess why are you staring so much?" he smirked, his thumb coming up to rub your clit. "p..pretty." he chuckled. "thank you love." he teased your hole with a finger. "so wet princess." he slowly slid his finger in. "gotta stretch you out a bit pretty, so it won't hurt as much." he slowly fingered you before pulling out.

"you ready beautiful?" you nodded. "please put it in jay." he bent down, kissing your lips, distracting you as he slowly pushed himself inside your hole. "j..jay." you moaned in pain and pleasure at the stretch. "i know love, i know." he slowly bottomed out inside you, letting out a low moan as you successfully took him hole. "pretty girl, you took all of me."

you were so tight, the way you clenched around him so tightly he knew he wasn't gonna last long, it had been a year since he had sex with anyone, forced to use his hand. "fuck baby, if i don't move now, im gonna cum just from your pretty pussing clenching around me." you moaned. "y..you can move." he pulled out, pushing himself inside you all at once this time. "f..fuck jay!" he began to thrust himself in and out of you.

"shit! princess you're so tight, so fucking wet."

his eyes were glued to your tits, the way they bounced along with every thrust. "so pretty baby, you're so fucking pretty— shit- i hate when you talk bad about yourself." you were a moaning mess. "you're so beautiful, you mean so much to me, you understand me." you nodded, but jay wanted to hear you.

"i said do *thrust* you *thrust* under *thrust* stand *thrust* me?" you felt the build up in your abdomen. "i..i understand." he kissed your lips. "i love you so much, don't forget that." you couldn't understand why, but you started to cry. "i..i love you too." he kissed your cheeks. "j..jay i'm gonna cum." he reached in between your bodies rubbing your clit. "cum for me pretty, go a head." you were a crying fucked out mess as you came on his cock. "shit!" he pulled out, fisting his cock before spilling all over your abused twitching hole.

you were still crying, overwhelmed by everything, jay pulled you into a hug, not caring about the sweat, or the smell of sex in the air, he only cared about you. "it's okay love, im right here." he rocked your body. "let it out."

he let you get yourself together before he helped you clean up, bringing you back to the bed. "don't go." he smiled, caressing your face. "i'll be right back." he said exiting the room. he returned back with the food you bought. "let's just eat in here tonight, i'll clean everything else later." you smiled as your boyfriend set everything up. "what is it?" he laughed. "i just love you so much." he kissed your lips, pulling away smiling.

"i told you, i'll always be here for you, i love you too, forever and always."

©️LUVYENI

[bloodlinemadness]

Gif is mine.

Credit to @tsunami-of-tears for the divider!

A/N: This is the ending & final chapter to Stress. Thank you to those who have supported & read the series! Appreciate it 🩵 It is very long & it's a pretty sad chapter so be aware & have tissues if you need it 😭 For the Tama girlies, there's a poll link for you at the end.

Honestly have no damn clue why Tumblr hid Part 3 from the search 😩 So I'm sure a lot of people haven't read it. So if you haven't Here it is. Tumblr made it flop *sigh*

Pairings: Roman Reigns (bf) x Fem! Reader

Tama Tonga (ex) x Fem! Reader

Summary: Relationship tensions rise between Y/N & Roman. Tama is paid a little visit & reconnects with Y/N. However, something catches his eye.

Warnings ⚠️: 18+ Swearing, angst, fluff, implied smut, mentions of sex, emotional wreckage, emotional breakdown, mentions of mental illness, rehabilitation, violence, prison, Yandere Tama, force being used, jealousy, mentions of eating disorder, couple arguments. Sad. NOT PROOFREAD!

‼️ If situations like this make you uncomfortable, keep scrolling this isn't for you. Unnecessary comments or reblogs will be blocked. ‼️

Tags: @isabella-2025 @wishyouloveme @yana3sworld @reignsboy19 @jstarr86 @rose-bliss

(Depending on the poll results if y'all like Tama, I know someone does lol & still want to be tagged or if anyone else wants to be added lmk).

WC: 5k (Yeah grab popcorn 🍿😭)

Of course this is written for fictional purposes only & is based on their characters, it does not depict who they are in real life. Respect to them & their families.

Keep forgetting to say this but Toko means bro/sibling in Tongan

Enjoy ☝🏽

Roman was out on the balcony looking into the city lights ahead of him. His mind wandered, processing the day him & you just went through. He wished he would've known about your absence earlier, he wished he didn't get so occupied with the fans & that he'd politely cut it short with them letting them know he had to leave with you, he wished he would've kicked Tama's ass out of Waffle House right away so you didn't get hurt, same with Jimmy.

He had so many regrets, he almost lost you to Tama. He couldn't imagine what Tama would've done if he didn't get there quickly, but at the same time if he followed the options he thought about earlier this situation could've been prevented. Roman's eyes watered up thinking about it all, he buried his face in his hands, taking deep breaths. After he calmed down, he went inside to your shared bedroom to check on you. He felt his stomach twist looking at what he saw in front of him, he saw you folding up your clothes & packing them in your luggage.

"Are we going somewhere?" he asked. "We're not, I am" you said. He let out a little chuckle, "without me babygirl? Well damn, have fun & come back soon. I'm going to miss you being away," he admitted. You took a deep breath, knowing what you were going to say, you just didn't know how you were going to say it, but you needed to, and it was going to hurt the both of you, you had butterflies in your stomach, but here it goes. "Roman, I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore, I'm so sorry" you revealed.

Roman felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, his world fell apart. His eyes widened in shock, he couldn't believe what you just said. A 2 year friendship full of supporting each other's careers, traveling together, making inside jokes, being each other's shoulder to cry on. 3 years of dating, going out, giving each other the world, picking each other up when one of you are feeling down, moving in, meeting each other's families, and the times you both spent loving each other. A total of 5 years of being together all gone down the drain & ending right there.

Roman felt cotton grow in his throat, he was numb to what you just said, he couldn't believe it. You felt your eyes water up, but still continuing to pack. You knew he was going to be speechless after you said those heartbreaking words. You loved him a lot, but you didn't have a choice but to do this. There was nothing, but silence between you two as you packed. You finished packing up your belongings, you put your cosmetics bag on top of your luggage, and wheeled your luggage towards the door.

As you made your way past Roman, his hand reached out, gripping the top of the luggage handle stopping you in your tracks. "You're not going anywhere" he said firmly. You looked up at him & he looked you in the eyes, his eyes watering up. "Roman please" you pleaded. "Why? Why do you want to end this Y/N? What did I do wrong? Please, tell me. We can fix this. I'll change my ways for you" he pleaded.

You started tearing up, lip quivering "Roman, it's for the best. Please let me go" your voice started to crack. "I'm not letting you go, I need an honest reason Y/N" his voice shaking. He gripped your shoulders "please tell me, what can I do to be a better man, a better boyfriend?" he asked. "Stop!" you said putting your hand up. "It's not you, you're the best boyfriend I ever had. Please don't make my actions think that you're not enough for me, ever!" you cried.

"Then what is it! Why are you leaving me?" he questioned loudly. "IT'S ME OKAY?!" you shouted. He looked at you in shock, you continued. "It's me & my past catching up" you confessed. You didn't want Roman to beat himself up for letting you go, the honest truth needed to be revealed. "It's because of me. Tama put us through so much shit today, he came after me & harmed you & your family along the way. You all got into this mess because of me. He hurt you Ro, he hurt Jimmy, he threatened to hurt Jey, Solo & Jacob. Hell, he turned against his own brother because of me. I'm the problem, I need to leave your life so he doesn't trouble you & your family anymore, it's best we both part ways Roman" you cried.

Roman shook his head "you don't mean that" he says tearing up. "Babe, it's for the best, please. If I leave he won't hurt any of you anymore." you reasoned. "I don't care about him hurting us! We're in this battle together, babygirl. You're the best thing that has ever walked into my life. My life has changed ever since I met you. You radiate so much light & beauty. I can't see a future with anyone else, but you. I will do anything to protect you even if it's from Tama. I want to spend every second with you. Even if it means fending off Tama, I'll still stand by your side, because I love you, he doesn't intimidate me at all, I'll kick his ass" he said spilling his heart out.

You covered your mouth, tearing up. "I'll always fight for you" said Roman "even if it's against an ex of yours. I want to be on this journey with you" said Roman. "I don't know what to say" you cried. "I don't want to lose you, Roman." "Then stay sweetheart, we'll fight these battles together. You are never alone. You don't have to fight these battles alone. I'm here to love & support you through your ups & downs" he said, "if you want, we'll move from this place. Move far away where Tama won't find us" he said.

Everything that Roman said made your attachment to him grow. You didn't want to leave him, but you didn't want him to get hurt either. But, he was willing to do anything for you. Your life got better, because of him. He didn't want to let go of you & neither did you. What was Tama going to do anyway? He's with the authorities now & under their supervision. One thing's for sure, breaking up you & Roman was what Tama wanted so he can have you. You couldn't let him win. You couldn't prove yourself weak & prove him right. Tama broke your heart, he broke you & he sure had some nerve to come back into your life, especially to seek an opportunity to even get back with you for his own greed.

The thing was you weren't alone in this fight, you had your amazing boyfriend & his family by your side. He was willing to do anything for you & you were willing to do anything for him. The love between you & Roman was strong & it still managed to keep Tama out no matter how much he tried to get back in. You didn't want that bond to end, you wanted to continue loving Roman & he wanted to continue loving you. You saw a future with him too.

You nodded "okay" you smiled. He smiled big, playfully tackling you onto the bed with a hug. He pressed his lips onto yours as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You both shared an emotional & heart full kiss. All is well again. You couldn't believe you almost ended your 5 year bond with Roman, what were you thinking? He pulled away from you & looked deep into your eyes, his pupils turning a darker shade. "You're in so much trouble for scaring me like that earlier" he said nipping at your neck, making you giggle. "I'm gonna punish you" he winked. "Please do" you teased.

"But wait" you said as he took off his shirt, you nearly drooled looking at his body. "What is it?" he asked, you pulled him back down to you, kissing him with full on passion, he immediately returned it. You pulled away pressing your forehead against his "thank you, thank you for everything. You're the true definition of a Real-life Superhero" you said. He smiled showing his pearly whites. "I'm always going to protect you, you mean the world to me babygirl" he said kissing your forehead. "You & your family definitely came in like the Avengers that day" you giggled, making him laugh.

"The Avengers are great, but The Bloodline is the real-deal" he smirked. He placed kisses all over your neck as you ran your nails over his back. He stopped his kisses examining the hickey on your neck Tama gave you, he traced his finger over it. You figured that's what he was looking at when he stopped. "I'm so sorry Roman" you said softly growing emotional, you knew he was going to lash out any minute, and he has every right to. "I swear, when that man's out, I will smack the lips off his face if he ever comes near you or us again. I don't even want to see his shadow or else he's gonna have to sleep with one eye open every night" He gritted through his teeth.

"RoRo" you said getting his attention, "let's forget about him & focus on us. He's in the past now." you said. " He nodded, he removed your shirt & you wrapped your legs around his waist. That night you both loved each other to the fullest, with kisses & touches. You both never let each other go. You were his & he was yours, always.

One Month Later

"Uce, are you sure you want to do this?" asked Jimmy. "It's just for the sake of sanity & a peace of mind" said Roman. "Did Y/N agree to it though?" asked Jey. "She did, she wants to do it" nodded Roman. "I know there's so much going on, but she's willing to make changes, she's going to switch to remote learning until her transfer progress is complete with the new school" said Roman. They both nodded in understanding.

"How's your ankle Jim?" asked Roman. "It's healing up, I'm just glad the cut wasn't too deep" he said pulling up the cuff of his pant leg to check his ankle. Jey shook his head "Grateful that nothing worse happened to you, Uce" he said giving him a side hug. "The worst that would've happened is him biting my ankle" said Jimmy shaking his head. "Jim!" exclaimed Roman, "what? It's true!" said Jimmy. "He's going through shit, stop man" said Jey playfully shoving his shoulder. "Well sorry, but it still doesn't give an excuse for him to cut me like a pork chop, damn!" said Jimmy.

You & Roman both got out of the SUV, you looked around the parking lot, barbed wires everywhere over the fences, you had your arm wrapped around his as you both went inside. Security at the front desk spoke & escorted the both of you into the elevator, it took the 3 of you to the top floor. Once you both got out, the both of you got screened by security, the officer punched in on the pin pad & swiped his card leading you both into the wing. You both went down the hall entering another door. You & Roman came face to face with Tonga Loa, he nodded at you both.

"Hey Loa" you said going over to hug him, he returned the hug. You pulled away & cupped his cheeks looking into his eyes "are you okay?" you asked softly. He nodded "trying to take it one day at a time" he breathed. You nodded "I'm so sorry" you apologized. "It's not your fault, I wish I would've seen the signs earlier & act upon it" he said. "It's going to be okay" you whispered letting him go, he nodded.

Roman came over & gave him a hug. "All good?" he asked "yeah, I'm just glad this whole thing is being solved & addressed, better late than never I guess" said Loa. Roman nodded "I appreciate you for stepping in to help weeks ago, I know it must've been tough to step up to your older brother. So thank you & I apologize for yelling at you in front of everyone at Waffle House the other day" said Roman. "It's all good & of course, I didn't want him to hurt anyone & himself" said Loa. Roman patted his shoulder.

A guard called the 3 of you over to a window. Loa sat down in front of it. "How's he doing?" asked Loa looking up at the guard. "He's progressing, and getting better. However, he hasn't been talking & making direct eye contact, also skipping meals. But, we'll continue to work with him." said the guard. Loa nodded "I'm just glad he's getting the help he needs & is progressing. Maybe he'll talk to me" he said.

The guard made the radio call to his coworker. You & Roman stayed leaned against the wall behind Loa watching everything. Another guard from the other side of the window opened the door coming in, & held it open. There he was, he took slow steps into the room. You took in his appearance, it's been a month since you've last seen him & it seems like rehabilitation has done a lot to him. Although, the guard mentioned that he's getting better, it seemed like it has mentally took a toll on him to fight for the betterment of himself. His curly hair was disleveled & messy, his jumpsuit had wrinkles all over, beard was overgrown, his face was pale & there were dark circles under his eyes.

He sat down on the chair, looking down & not at the bullet proof glass barrier separating him & his brother. "Feel free to speak into that mic, he'll be listening from the speaker in front of him" instructed the guard, Loa nodded. "Hey Toko, it's been a while. I hope you're doing okay. I miss you so much, not just me, but everyone at home misses you" said Loa. No reaction from Tama he just kept looking down at the speaker in front of him listening, but refusing to look at his brother.

You felt your heart sink, seeing Tama in this condition really hurt you. Yes, he hurt you in the past, and he clearly needed help because he wouldn't leave you alone & he hurt your boyfriend & his cousin, but you really wished you could've done something, maybe be a bit more kinder & compassionate to him rather than hesitant & rude when he wanted to talk to you. You felt somewhat guilty on the inside blaming yourself for this.

You looked over at Roman while Tonga was talking to his brother, he smiled at you. "This is all my fault" you said. Roman raised his brow "what do you mean?" he asked. "If I was more kinder & compassionate towards him when he wanted to talk to me at Waffle House, this wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't be in there, today" you frowned. "Will you stop blaming yourself, babygirl?" whispered Roman. "If Tama wanted to talk to you & you were in a rush to leave, he could've been more understanding & waited another time to talk to you rather than dragging you to the smoking patio."

"Maybe it was killing him inside & he just really wanted to say it" you said. "Yeah but still, grabbing your wrist & taking you by force was aggressive of him, he's lucky I wasn't there to catch that & he could've been understanding knowing you moved on. Just my 2 cents. Do what you want with that information, but quit blaming yourself. I know you're an empath but you got to be empathetic towards you, he could've hurt you, babygirl" said Roman. You nodded "you're right, I just hope he gets better soon" you sympathized looking over at the two brothers.

"Anyway, I will be back & we're praying everyday for you. Can't wait to see you come home & for us to go to work together & Tongan twist all those tag teams. Ain't nobody realer than us, those belts are waiting for us & everyone is waiting for you at home & work, Fale says he can't wait to have a game of Call of Duty with you. Get better soon brother. I love you" said Loa as his voice cracked, the guard patted his back. Still Tama remained in the same position & pose listening to his brother's words, he didn't move nor react, he didn't make eye contact. Loa got up & came over to you & Roman.

"Are you sure you want to do this Y/N?" he asked confirming, you nodded. "You're okay with this?" he asked Roman, he nodded. "I know we've had our differences, and went back & forth. I'm very upset with his past actions & especially with what he did to Y/N & my family. Clearly he's not okay, but he's human & deserves to get better. Y/N & I will be moving, but hearing about Tama, I hope her visit gives him some light before we head up North" said Roman. Loa half smiled "appreciate you Uce." Roman motioned for you to go & talk to Tama, you nodded, he kissed your head for comfort & to wish you luck.

You walked towards the seat in front of the window & sat down. "Whenever you're ready" said the guard. You nodded & took a deep breath looking up at the man sitting there motionless. "Hey Tama" you cooed, he scratched his beard, you froze at the movement, but he was still looking down. You took a deep breath & you spoke again. "I know it's been a while since we've last seen each other. I hope you're doing okay" you spoke softly. You stopped after your sentence & observed him.

He slowly started to lift his head up, his brown & tired eyes making eye contact with you. You felt a knot in your stomach & gulped as he looked at you. "That's the most I've seen him react Bob ever since he got here! He's making eye contact!" exclaimed the guard behind you to the other guard behind Tama on the radio. "Oh my God, he's looking up" said a stunned Roman. Loa started to get emotional seeing his brother moving around. Tama started looking around taking in the environment he's in. The guard rubbed his shoulder, "you're safe & in good hands buddy, don't worry" he assured, calming him down.

Tama looked back at you. You smiled at him, eyes starting to water up. "I heard a lot has happened, I've heard you've been doing good & making progress which is great, but you haven't been feeling yourself lately, you haven't been eating nor sleeping" he continued to look at you. "I understand it's tough to take all of this in & you've never been in this situation before. But please, take care of yourself. You have so much to live for Tama, so many memories to create, so much to achieve & you've achieved so much, you're creating a legacy, people are waiting to see you, people look up to you including your own brother, you are one of a kind Tama, you make people laugh on, you make people believe in themselves, you are a star" you said.

You didn't know what else to say, Tama did hurt you, but he was a part of your life, someone you loved, worked & grew up with. It really broke your heart to see him like this, but you wanted to give him some hope so he can get better, live his life in a healthy & better way & move forward from you, hopefully. "Tama, I just want you to get better & I'm sending you all the support. Please don't hurt yourself. There's so many people who care about you, I still care about you. The more you take care of yourself, the quick you can get out of here" you encouraged.

"Sending you all the light & healing. Everything is going to be okay, you'll find the girl of your dreams, you'll get those titles with your brother & rule the tag team division, you'll live a happy life. I wish you nothing but the best" you said tearing up as you placed your hand on the glass window. Tama leaned forward looking at you, his head slowly turned to the side & looked at your hand planted on the barrier in between you two. He lifted his hand up which was shaking, and placed it over yours. You smiled through the tears.

Tama's lips started to quiver looking at both of your hands on top of each other, separated by the plain window. He looked at you, moving his head closer towards the window eyes getting watery. Tears ran down both of your faces as you looked at each other, even the guards on both sides were touched. Roman was touched, even though he gets protective over you sometimes, and he can't stand Tama, he let this one slide for the better. Loa smiled through his tears looking at his brother's emotions.

Roman pulled him into a hug as he cried onto his shoulder "there, there you big baby" he joked. "Fucking rude, your cousins were right" scoffed Loa, "I'm kidding, cry your heart out, I'm glad he's responding & I need a word with those cousins" said Roman. Tama pressed his forehead against the window crying, you got closer to his face, looking at him. "It's okay, I'm here now. You're going to be okay. Deep breaths, love" you assured. He stuttered out your name, you nodded at him smiling in tears.

You pressed your forehead against his on the window as you both had a moment to yourselves, tears flowing down from both of your faces. His tear stained face turned & looked at your hand, something caught his attention. He wiped his tears away & moved his head over to your hand, inspecting it. You looked up only to see that Tama wasn't in front of you. You looked at your hand & saw him looking at it. Tama saw the sparkle of the sapphire diamond mounted with a silver platinum ring sitting on your finger.

Yup, Roman proposed.

You two were engaged to be married. He did it 2 weeks after the incident. He proposed to you at a restaurant in downtown on your date night. He has never been so sure of anything else than to spend the rest of his life with you. You both loved each other, brought the best out of each other, and would fight the world for each other, your love was invincible. The ring solidified that & Tama was staring at it knowing he lost you.

"Shit!" cursed Roman. "What happened?" asked Loa. "I told her to take the ring off before she got here!" said Roman facepalming himself. Loa turned & saw his brother eyeing your hand. Your heart stopped, you didn't know what to do. Tama looked at you, you felt chills all over you. His expression slowly changed from sentimental to envious, his eyes darkened. You shook your head, trying to show him that he shouldn't let his anger & emotions get the best of him, clearly that didn't stop him. His nostrils flared, and his face twitched. He started to scream, bawling & banging his fists against the window startling you & the guards. Roman immediately ran over, pulling you up from your seat, directing you away from the window, and taking you towards the wall where you both were leaned against earlier. All you can hear are his faint screams muffled by the window.

"Backup! Visitor window #4, back of house immediately!" yelled the guard on the radio. The guard behind Tama tried to calm him down, but Tama kept on resisting. "Take it easy buddy!" the guard next to you said through the mic. More guards arrived holding onto Tama & carefully escorting him out of the visiting room.

Loa shook his head tearing up, you teared up thinking everything was okay, but it seems like he needed more time to get better & you showing up wasn't probably the best idea since he was after you in the first place. Roman hugged the both of you. You buried your face into his chest crying as he caressed your hair. You both were lead out by the guard.

The 3 of you walked into the parking lot. "Listen, I love y'all & don't take this the wrong way but I don't think y'all should ever come back here" admitted Loa. "No, you're right" said Roman. "Tama was still progressing being rehabilitated & getting better. We showed up during the process when he should've fully recovered. It won't happen again. Y/N & I will be going away." said Roman. Loa nodded "I wish you both the best together & congratulations on the engagement" he said.

"Thank you Loa" you said giving him a hug, he hugged you back. He gave Roman a hug, "take care, praying for Tama, he'll get better" said Roman, he nodded.

Loa, you & Roman parted ways. You & Roman got into the vehicle & drove off.

On the highway

"I told you to take that ring off before we went to the facility. What were you trying to prove?" asked Roman agitated. "I wasn't trying to prove anything I forgot, I'm sorry. I didn't know where to put it" you apologized. Roman shook his head. "You could've put it in your jewelry box, locked it up then give it to Naomi, she would've kept it somewhere safe. She doesn't know what you have in there. Tama went ballistic seeing that. We're trying to heal him" said Roman. "I'm so sorry, I just thought things were progressing, it was dumb of me to stick my hand out like that. God, I feel so horrible now. Tama had to go through that because of me" you said tearing up.

Roman stopped at the red light & leaned over to kiss your head. "There's a lot we didn't know, everyone is different & works in their own way. All I know is that we shouldn't have went there when Tama was healing. But, Tonga called me & told me he wasn't doing well, he calmed down & is improving but like the officer mentioned, he wasn't making eye contact, sleeping nor eating" he said.

"And that's kinda why we went to visit him. I wanted to give him some hope, and shed a light so he can move around around. I know what he did in the past was wrong in so many ways. But, I don't want him to ever hurt himself. I won't bug him again. I just pray that he gets better & fully recovers. I hope he moves on. It seems like he still hasn't at the moment & is disturbed" you said.

"He'll get better, we need to let him be on his own it's only been a month, babygirl" said Roman "give him some time." you nodded & looked out the window. Roman kept driving, he got a phone call from Jimmy mentioning what him & Naomi will bring over to the house party. "No Jim I'm not going to stop by Waffle House for takeout...you already ordered online?" he paused over the phone listening to what his cousin had to say, he sighed "okay, I'll pick it up on the way back. You're welcome." Today marked the last day you & Roman would be staying at your home before moving. So the family decided to throw a going away party even though they'll be joining soon, cause family always stays together.

Roman hung up & glanced over at you then back at the road. "You still care about him don't you?" he said not taking his eyes off the road. You turned your head & looked over at him. "Kind of, but that doesn't mean I want to date him again. I just want him better for him. As long as he's still thinking about me it's going to hurt him more. I don't want him to go through that pain & suffering anymore. He was a part of my life. The first man I trusted, kissed, made love with & everything. Sadly, he did hurt me, and that lead to our break-up, but usually after break-ups people dwell on it for a bit, and then move forward with their lives. Sad truth is, he hasn't. He didn't take it too well." you said.

You looked at Roman he was silent hearing what you had to say. "I'll always love you, thank you for coming into my life, making it better & for everything you've done for me. You mean more than words to me. I'm glad I found you. I can't wait for us to start our married life together" you say holding his hand. He glanced at you briefly smiling before pulling into a parking lot.

"I know you've been feeling down ever since we've returned from there. Thought you could cheer up with some comfort food." said Roman. You looked out the front window & saw the big Dairy Queen sign, you smiled. "I love you Tribal Chief" you said hugging him. "I love you too, babygirl" he smiled.

Roman pulled into the drive thru & you both ordered & received your desserts. You both started finishing off your ice creams in the parking lot. "So good" you sighed in content, "I needed this, thank you RoRo" "of course, I know how much you love your dairy products" he said. You finished yours off, but Roman had something planned, he took some ice cream & put it on the tip of your nose.

You gasped "YOU DID NOT" narrowing your eyes at him. "I sure did" he chuckled. He leaned in & licked it off your nose. "Ugh! You know how I feel about that!" you said crossing your arms. "You know, ever since we got engaged. We didn't really have a proper celebration" he smirked. "Oh my gosh, in a Dairy Queen parking lot really Ro? What if they catch us?" you asked worried. We'll go to the very back" assured Roman. "But the twins, Naomi & the rest of your family are waiting at home!" you said.

"They're adults, they can keep themselves entertained & wait" said Roman. He got out of the driver's side & opened the door to the backseat. You started biting at your nails, "babygirl" he called out, you turned your head around to look at him. "I'm waiting" he said in a deep voice, licking his lips. You swore you could've combusted right there. How did you get so lucky? You smirked at him, got out of the shotgun side & made your way towards the backseat. You went over to his side & climbed into the back side before him. You felt a smack on your ass as you went in. You turned around & cocked a brow at him. "I couldn't help myself" he smirked. He got in after you & shut the door.

The End 💫

A/N: Thanks to those who stuck with the series, followed it & read it till the end. Especially those who provided feedback, reblogged & liked, I appreciate you angels so much! 🩵 Now Tama girlies, I did promise you something at the start of this series. There is a poll out based on if you want an alternate version to this fic where she ends up with Tama.

Here's the link

[timebom]

thoughts while watching episode 2! ☆

summary: necessary amount of love for jinx, unnecessary amount of child hate lmao

oh my baby girl i love u it's ok don't be sad please

jinx focused episode let's gooo

me: omg was that a flash of powder?!

*rewinds*

me: ...who the fuck is that.

me: oh no. oh no. this kid is important enough to make it to the intro, jinx is going to take care of this child isn't she. that sure is... a choice

oh no the kid is here

ugh for me personally the only thing worse they could have done is make her pregnant or have a baby. i hate storylines like this im so sorry. it's different when the parent-child relationship is like the main focus or the premise of the show/movie (the mandalorian, the last of us, the walking dead game, silco taking care of powder who's the main character), but when a random ass child shows up years late to the party and needs someone to take care of them and the child character has no previous connection to the audience... i really dislike that in stories im so sorry. leave jinx alone

also, in what world is jinx ready to be a mother figure to anyone lmao she's very much stuck in a child-like state herself half the time. this is not what she needs, we both deserve better

i like the child's design though

honestly, i hope arcane makes me take all that i just said back, but we'll see

jinx i love you

her voice is so good, the voice acting is sooo good oh my god

does she kinda have a different vibe or is it just me?

honestly thought she would be doing a lot worse than she is. good for her!

don't get me wrong, i get that from the orphan's point of view jinx just saved her life and she's clearly super strong, what else is she supposed to do than follow

what i'm saying is that i personally do not want jinx to take care of a child right now. i want this to be about the sisters. the fact that i don't like this is on me, the writers can obviously do whatever they want with their story buuut.....

sevika<3

can't wait for her and jinx to team up

wait does sevika even know that jinx was the one who killed silco?

i don't know what's going on with viktor and whatever he's saying here is not helping

did she though?

everything viktor does now is so slow. the way he speaks, the way he moves...

im not a jayvik girlie but i imagine that those who are felt rly sad after this scene

ekko my boy! the biker mouse from mars can speak?

my brother: he really does look like one

i literally facepalmed and my brother groaned

ekko please ditch this creature you're better on your own

shut up. you're not cute, you're not funny.

i should probably clarify that heimer is my least favourite character in the show, i kinda have no patience for anything he does 😂

i literally said DO IT JAYCE out loud

this made me laugh

same, ekko, same.

can we talk about the way he's holding the cup lol

it's also kinda funny and kinda sad at the same time that this is probably his first time tasting tea

SHUT UUUUPPPP

i screamed

vi? nooo, what the hell 😫 i thought it was the bad guys after her but no it's VI? don't hurt jinx like this, don't hurt me like this

the animation is making me feel like i'm the one who can't breathe damn

hasn't my girl been through enough?? stooooppp

this looked really cool though

there's no way those were the only two times he saw her cry

also, she's insane, blinking and getting even closer. i am obsessed with her

YESSSHHHH

after getting her ass kicked by vi and jinx repeatedly in season 1, i have a feeling this is a battle she's finally going to win 😆

the whole-body movement she did here, so cute, i love her so much 😭

GET JINXED OMG!!!!!!!! 💙💙💙💙💙

holy shit you can always trust arcane with fight scenes

my brother: no one does fight scenes better than arcane.

me: i know right?! that was so good! best scene in season 2 so far!

brother: yep.

oh wow ok. girl, 1st of all, ew. 2nd of all, that thing was like 80% machine what was there left for you to eat? 3rd of all... this begs the question, what do these people eat, exactly? do they draw the line at cannibalism but everyone else is fair game? huh.

i doubt the people in piltover eat like this

no, let's not do that<3

what is he, jesus? this is a bit too much.

[shecriestotheclickingoftime]

favorite fandom writers 1 2 3 GOOOOO

ok i think i almost went insane trying to answer this question but i was also hoping that someone would ask bc i could yap about this forever!!

my list (also w specific fic recs) in no particular order:

@tinytennisskirt 's fics are some of the first i read in this fandom, and omg they're all just too good. i got into their fics back when i was an art girlie (and before i even started actually posting on here) and omg cottage culture changed my brain chemistry. and also same with kiss me. and then for patrick fics those three words is also just so so good.

@egcdeath i originally knew from reading their fics on ao3 before i even started this account (i'm new to being in tumbler fandoms but a very longtime ao3 user). she isn't active anymore but it would feel wrong to not mention them in this post. their fic off the beaten path. i read it on ao3 so long ago but i must admit that somehow it still lives in my mind rent free... like genuinely there are specific scenes that i still replay in my head at night when im trying to fall asleep.

@fruitjoos also needed to be on this list!! their fic serving up suds is one of my favs, it's so cute and so fun and also just so well written. also her fic homesick is new, but i've already found myself revisiting it multiple times for comfort. im always on the edge of my seat to see what she's gonna post next, because i already know that it's gonna be so good.

@grimsonandclover is an amazing mutual of mine now, but i also knew originally from ao3, and read their fics long before i ever talked to them (i don't think i've ever told them that though oops). they wrote the fic you & i as a gift for me and the kindness of them doing that still sticks with me, and also that fic is just amazing.

@diyasgarden 's prose in her writing is genuinely unmatched. she has a way of understanding characters so deeply. and this is very clear in her writing - she is able to write these characters in such an honest way that it's heart-shattering and beautiful, with language that's so so gorgeous. this isn't even a full fic, but her work about patrick tht was based off of anything by adrianne lenker actually made me sit for a second and process bc it was just so good. i have to mention she also has amazing taste in literature (which makes a lot of sense based on her writing), i will forever treasure our 2-person oomf book club.

@amymbona was also one of the first people who i followed on here, before i even started posting, and her stories are so good. both her AUs and blurbs are so good, and going through her masterlist is like discovering a box of treasures. i still revisit the list, finding new things to read and scenarios to imagine, and my sadness and boredom is instantly cured.

OKKKKKKK that's the list!! sorry that this list is so long and specific, but im a yapper at heart and i needed to speak!! i basically ended up writing this instead of my history essay that i was going to write... but writing this was just too necessary. also if any of these writers read this, sorry if this is weird 😭😭 

[a-friend-of-mara]

Hello hello

It's been a long long time since I made an intro post so time to do it again

Hello everyone, I'm Mara, I'm an 18 year old autistic trans girlie on the interwebs. I'm mostly into women but recently have been getting bi-curious, I'm poly and in a relationship with some lovely people, I am okay with you flirting but don't get upset if I don't reciprocate your feelings, my partners come first.

New: I'm pissed as fuck that I have to write this, I'm turning off asks because I got five "help my family" asks today alone...

Rant below in green

At first I was like "idk, I don't have money so I'll just delete it" now I'm sure it's bots doing the whole "help my family" garbage. I don't have a better word for it than "evil"... people are fucking suffering and some dickwads are trying to scam people out of money...... "oh but Mara how do you know its a scam" Hello there hypothetical goober who I made up for the sake of argument. I know it's a scam because the only thing I get more often than those asks are mommy doms in my dms saying "hello bitch" ... I'm not happy... I'm just not, tumblr should be for funny videos of fennec foxes, cats, queer shit, sad girl hours, and saying "mommy? Sorry" to other trans girls who I think are cute... NOT FUCKING GILT TRIPS

:(

I am a transgender woman, if you call me a sissy you're getting blocked

Stop asking where I'm from! I've heard that a hundred times and I'm tired of it!

I swear to Satan herself if one more guy is creepy in my DMs then I'm gonna start blocking all of them

Blank blogs I do not trust and will be presumed bots/scammers until proven otherwise, likes, reblogs, and a PFP take almost no time

My non-horny intests include

Computers

TTRPGs

Video games

Fixing stuff

I love talking to people and love attention even more so feel free to DM me*

*Dni list

Racists

Homophobic people

Transphobic people

TERFs

Anyone who calls me "sissy" or "tranny" or "shemale" because those are all derogatory terms and if you use them you're either an asshole or uneducated and I don't wanna take the time to figure out which

Favorite video games

(Last updated 5/13)

Titanfall 2

Team Fortress 2

Deep Rock Galactic

Beat saber

Project wingman

Cyberpunk 2077

Armored Core 6

Lethal Company

Pizza Tower

I love spreading little pockets of happiness around here sending messages saying "Heya you're loved and valid" to people on here

I frequently talk about Charlie, she's my PC, I built her with my own hands and seeing her damaged or malfunctioning hurts my soul

Ask me for money and you're being blocked instantly

Horny below the line

Dirty ask list

When giving an ask please give the question number and question, thx

I LOVE TO RP, PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT IT!